Since last GMIK post we have officially got married on paper, booked a photography studio and started the paperwork for her green card. The only things I have to say about the process thus far is this:
- don't write in Korean on any form unless it specifies a foreign language. This includes your current address and such. Write in English.
- All submitted forms for a green card should be translated from Korean to English. A sample can be found here. If you don't feel like doing it yourself, many places right outside the 구청 do this for a fee (about 10 USD a page)
- take your time, don't get stressed, be patient with your spouse who waits until the end to do everything and make memories to last a lifetime.

The 'paperwork marriage' date will always special to us and it couldn't have been more romantic in our minds. Stress, running from office to office to make it in time, translating back and forth and finally getting that perfect movie kiss when it's all done.

If your spouse is Korean and needs more Korean-specific information, we found this blog helpful (view in IE)

So now the next step is to wait and hear back from Immigration about the green card. 

Finally, this is an email I received from the Embassy when I asked if I needed an interview just to submit the I-130 paperwork. Read below:

Sir,

You have been scheduled for an appointment on Thursday, February 11th at 10:45am.

Please come to the US Embassy, 3rd Floor, Window #2 with your spouse.

Following is information you will need to file a petition for your immediate -relative.

The current Service instructions require that the petitioner file with the Service Office having jurisdiction over the petitioner's place of residence.

For petitioners residing overseas, Form I-130 should be filed at their nearest Consulate or Embassy. The petitioner must file in person.

Along with the I-130 petition, you must also submit originals (and a copy)of;

* proof of any legal name changes

* proof of US citizenship or lawful permanent residence card if applicable, your marriage certificate

* if applicable, proof of termination of any prior marriage(s)

* If filing for your spouse; Form G-325A with one photograph each of yourself and your spouse

* birth certificate of yourself & your alien relative (If you and/or your relative was/is a Korean citizen, you should submit the Family Census Register; which documents the family relationship between yourself and the alien. The Family Census Register must be accompanied with English translation.) (If your alien relative is your spouse, you must provide three Family Census Registers; Certificate of Marriage Relation, Certificate of Family Relation and Basic Certificate.) If your alien relative is not a Korean Citizen and is now in Korea , or has ever been to Korea , please provide a copy of all pages of your relative's passport to include the bio page.

* if applicable, birth certificates of any children of the beneficiary even if not filing for them

Please note that failure to provide complete and accurate information could result in a delay in processing the petition and subsequent immigrant visa.

* Provide copies of all your documents, the originals will be returned to you. We are not obligated to make copies for you.

The filing fee can be paid by US or Korean currency. NO personal checks can be accepted by the Embassy cashier per local State Department policy.

The fee for the I-130 petition changed to $355 on July 30, 2007(must be in cash either dollar or Korean won)

In actuality, the window was #302 and the interview was just a time to talk to a person behind a window. Be organized and bring everything you think you need and even some stuff you don't think you do. Better to have it and not need it, right?

Hope it helps.

So good news. We bought the rings. All four of them. eek. I'm too bashful to post how much I spent on them but I can say that I spent less than a thousand USD for two wedding bands and two Catholic rings. Not bad.

So bad news. I accidentally put my digital camera in the washing machine. So as much as I want to post photos of the rings, I have no way of doing so at the moment. Patience.

In the meantime, we are aiming to make Friday the day we get legally married on paper so as to start the green card process. At minimum, the embassy says that to register for a green card takes at least four months, so we want to get started soon to make sure that after June, we can move to states in late August without a problem. UPDATE: check out this processing time in real time. Technology. I heart you.

The legal process for marriage doesn't seem too bad. But alas now my sights on set on legalizing Saemi and it's amazing how complicated it seems. Oh and it seems I was wrong on the price for registering as a lawful permanent resident. It isn't 355 USD. Yeah that's just the fee for one of the many forms required. A short breakdown of application fees and where you can download the forms:

$0 G-325 Biographic Info
$0 I-864 Affidavit of Support ($70 fee waived if filed overseas)
$355 I-130 Petition for Alien Relative
$1010 I-485 Permanent Residence
$400 IV Interview (see here)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
$1765 total

That's not including any postage, medical checks and/or any other things necessary. Ouch... but obviously completely worth it.

So, just like the marriage steps, I should just spell it out nice and slow. By the way, I'm getting my information from the US Embassy and US Immigration (CIS). Also, this guide is quite helpful.

So, here's my starting point. Note: I'm omitting or shading information that doesn't apply to us.

Type of Relative for Whom You May Petition	Immigration Benefit	Related Forms
Spouse Children (unmarried and under 21) Sons and daughters (married and/or 21 or over) Parents, if you are 21 or over Siblings, if you are 21 or over	Green Card (Permanent Residence)	Form I-130, Petition for Alien Relative Form I-864, Affidavit of Support Form I-485, Application to Register Permanent Residence or Adjust Status
A fiancé(e) residing outside the United States and children of fiancé(e) under 21	Fiancé(e) Visa	Form I-129F, Petition for Alien Fiancé(e)
Spouse Children of spouse (unmarried and under 21)	K-3/K-4 Nonimmigrant Visa	Form I-130 Form I-129F

 

Application Process: Green Card (Permanent Residence)

To petition for a family member to receive a green card (permanent residence), you must submit with your Form I-130, petition for alien relative:

• Proof of your U.S. citizenship
• Evidence of the qualifying relationship (birth certificate, marriage certificate, divorce decree, etc.) 

What Happens Next?

• If your relative is outside the United States, your petition will be sent to the National Visa Center (NVC). The NVC will forward your petition to the appropriate U.S. consulate when a visa becomes available and your relative will be notified about how to proceed. This process is referred to as “Consular Processing.” 
• Your family member’s preference category will determine how long he or she will have to wait for an immigrant visa number. Once you have filed a petition, you can check its progress on “My Case Status”, in the links to the right. For visa availability information, see the “Visa Bulletin” link to the right.

NOTE: A visa petition (Form I-130) is only used to demonstrate a qualifying relationship. An approved petition DOES NOT grant any benefit, it simply creates a place in line for visa processing.

ADDITIONAL NOTE: Petitioners living in Korea who are not affiliated with the U.S. military or U.S. government, please note: In order for your beneficiary to be eligible for an immigrant visa following petition approval and scheduling of her/his immigrant visa appointment, you as sponsor will need to show you are domiciled (living) in the United States, or actively in the process of relocating to the United States.
- - - - - - - - -

Head spinning yet?

Once I get all the appropriate documents, next I need to email this person: CIS-Seoul.Inquiries@DHS.Gov in order to setup an appointment. I should provide my name, name of the beneficiary and country of birth, contact telephone numbers, and several appointment dates and times when you are available. The appointment will be at the US Embassy.

Once we get past all that, the fun part really starts. For a sneak peak, have at it.

Dude, I should author the book "Getting Married in Korea for Dummies". This process is a bit overwhelming not because it's hard but because there are so many things happening simultaneously that it's hard to focus on one at a time. As of now, I have the Pre-Cana class, marriage certificate, and green card prep going on at the same time. Not to mention work, GRE prep research and Korean self-studying.

So, I'm going to translate the steps as fool proof as possible. What's making this process a bit slower is that documents I need are in America...plus, the information that 새미 is receiving from Korean websites are conflicting with my information on occasion. Anyways, this all might look a bit similar to my first post, but bear with me. There's a lot of paperwork to keep track of.

Legal:

Requirements for an American to Marry in Korea
The documents listed below are required by the Korean government, as you will be married under the laws of Korea. These documents essentially replace the Family Census Registry that a Korean citizen presents when s/he wants to get married.

• Proof of US citizenship: A valid United States passport is sufficient to prove U.S. citizen for the purpose of marriage.
• A completed Affidavit of Eligibility for Marriage. You'll need one copy to be notarized by the U.S. Embassy. 
• A completed Report and Certificate of Marriage. You'll need three copies, two of which will be notarized by the U.S. Embassy, and one for retention at the Korean Ward Office (구청).
• (Here are instructions for completing these forms)
• Proof of identity: for example, a driver's license, military I.D., etc.
• Proof of termination of any prior marriage(s), including an original or certified copy of a divorce decree, annulment or death certificate for your previous spouse. 
• The fee for the notarizations, $90, which can be paid at the Embassy in dollars or in won, or by credit card. 

새미 needs:

• Family Relationship Certificate (가족관계 증명서): 1 Copy in Korean and 1 in English
• Marriage/Single Status Certificate (혼인관계 증명서): 1 Copy in Korean and 1 in English
• Valid Korean identification card (주민등록증)
• Name stamp (도장)

Religious:

• Proof of no prior marriage (????)  (no honor system?)
• Proof of baptism (세례증명서)
• Proof of birth (가족관계증명서) 
• Pre-Cana class completion certificate (????)

I contacted my local county office back in Texas and am waiting to hear back from them about the 'no prior marriage' certificate. First time I heard of it. I also asked my parents (politely) to mail me my original birth certificate and christening certificate from when I was a little bob dink.

For more Korean terms about getting married, check out the "Wedding" page here. Priceless for those twiddling their thumbs whilst everyone else is speaking Korean.

 I'm doing a somewhat rare cross-post from my study blog to bring you this lovely, short and sweet twelve-step guide.


The reason for the cross-post is that I would like to comment on each point in a frank manner hopefully to provide myself with an honest look into my habits as a partner. As I'm taking my vows quite seriously, I feel I need to reflect on my strengths as a partner as well as my weaknesses. Pre-Cana class or not, I should be honest with myself. So:

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 
1) Never both be angry at once.
An interesting concept. What would logically warrant both partners being mad at the same time? Realistically, this happens more often than not but it shouldn't, really. Ideally, if one is angry or upset, the other should:

• acknowledge their state of mind,
• recall their position,
• state your position,
• apologize,
• come to a compromise.
• come up with a plan  for the future so as to avoid a similar misunderstanding

This formula might sound methodical and absent of emotion but I find that it helps to focus the 'problem' and sets the  stage for communication (instead of pouting, walking away, silent treatment, or the dreaded "you know what you did" routine). Plus, it helps stubborn people like myself to focus one's frustration to a productive outlet instead of just stewing.

2) Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire.
A big one. Although my parents set a fantastic model for conflict resolution, somewhere along the lines, my emo-ness fused with my love of hardcore metal and produced a passive-aggressive yeller. It would take me a lot to raise my voice but once it was raised, it was like fighting a fire with a water pistol. I'm not proud to admit that I yelled a lot in my previous relationships. Regardless of the  reason or who instigated what, I should have been composed at all times. 

Plus, what is really important enough to yell about? Ever tried explaining a lover's quarrel with a friend? The argument always sounds trivial when repeated to a third party. I should keep this in mind. Also, shouting isn't always a huge boomy voice. Harsh language and rude 눈빚 (eye expression) can be just as hurtful sometimes as screaming. 

3) Yield to the wishes of the other as an exercise in self-discipline if you can’t think of a better reason.
Woah. Am I still Buddhist or what? This is like a koan or something, right? Think long and hard about it. This isn't suggesting being a submissive partner. This also ins't saying to just give up because you're partner thinks he/she is right. This is deeper.

My interpretation is that self-discipline, while being fundamentally about oneself, can also be a practice in not only humility but devotion. If my wife is asking me to do something that I either don't want to do or disagree with it, so long as it isn't immoral or evil, what is the harm in just yielding to their wish? Not wielding in the dragging-your-feet-as-you-do-it way but earnestly going along with the choice as if it were your own. To me, this is powerfully motivating and applicable for a stubborn person like myself. 

4) If you have a choice between making yourself or your mate look good, choose your mate.
Thankfully, I do this well. Perhaps it's because of my constant lack of face, but I try my best to make my better half look better than myself. 

5) If you feel you must criticize, do so lovingly.
I can be direct (as all people can) but sometimes I'm direct when subtleness is either more appropriate or more conducive to social relationships. Some might say I say whatever is whatever on my mind, but that's not true. I am making a conscious effort to say what I say and although I don't mean for it to be hurtful, sometimes it is. In any case, whether one means to be hurtful or not, the end result is still what matters. 잔소리 or not, I should do so kindly and gently. 

6) Never bring up a mistake of the past.
This is one of those relationship things that is quite interesting. Almost all reading this would agree that using the past to hurt your partner in the present is always a bad thing. One can't change the past and there's no use in rubbing someone's face in a mistake that they already apologized for. That's not my point.

My point is bringing up the past period. I bring up my own past on occasion and sometimes I'm met with opposition. "Why are you bringing that up?" is usually followed by "I'm just trying to humble myself and provide full disclosure. I don't want secrets. I'm honest". This isn't always what a woman might want to hear (dare I say especially a Korean woman?). However, I'm an honest guy. I don't cheat. I don't make up stories. I just prefer to keep things nice and open for the relationship's sake. 

Perhaps this isn't a bad thing, but perhaps I shouldn't volunteer information that might be shocking or disheartening to my partner unless it is asked. That is something I can do. Also, not bringing up her past? Not a problem. Never has been a problem.

7) Neglect the whole world rather than each other.
Again I pull the 'culture' card. I have no problem with pretending the whole world doesn't exist just to enjoy my time with my wife. It's her. Koreans are acutely tuned in to social misgivings no matter how trivial they may seem to a foreigner. I'm good about recognizing these and respecting them but I would prefer it if we were more accepted. Although a white guy and a Korean woman isn't earth-shatteringly shocking, it does warrant stares. Directed more at her than at me.

Solution? Continue to listen to her and unhold hands if necessary in public. It's not often but it happens. It's not about shame - it's about keeping the social wheels greased. I'm not here to change the world; just here to ensure we're both happy. I can compromise to that.

8) Never let the day end without saying at least one complimentary thing to your life partner.
Well said.

9) Never meet without an affectionate greeting.
I like the ambiguity of this. This could imply a kiss on the cheek, a hug, a smile - anything. Natural and important - even when you're upset, in my opinion. 

10) When you’ve made a mistake, talk it out and ask for forgiveness.
I'm logical. To a fault sometimes. We've made the joke that God hardwired my brain wrong and denied me the ability to cry. I almost believe it. It's no that I don't feel sadness. Rather, I just don't cry about it. Similarly, when we encounter a problem, I like to talk about it civilly and calmly, even if it's little. 

The focus here is that when YOU make a mistake. So, if I want to talk about something she did, perhaps I should wait until she initiates the conversation. Engaging in "full logic conflict resolution" mode might come off as superior or worse, the mediator. We are our own mediators. I hate hearing that it seems like I never make a mistake (which is far from the truth). This must mean, logically, that I am presenting myself improperly. I must be unintentionally coming off as superior. This is something I need to work on with my partner. 

As for the second part, I would refer to the step process described in number 1.

Finally, the forgiveness part. I never make fake apologies. I'm stubborn in that regard. If I apologize, I mean it whole-heartedly. No complaints there.

11) Remember, it takes two to make an argument. The one who is wrong is the one who will be doing most of the talking.
What a curious standpoint. It's a bit alien to me but I'm willing to try it. If talking to much implies guilt, then I'm always guilty. No sarcasm. Perhaps I should talk slower, less, and clearer. It might help for my partner to hear less of my voice and more of me just listening. What good advice.

12) Never go to bed mad.
Huge believer in this. I will make countless concessions in order to make peace before bedtime. Ceasefires, timeouts, apologies, wrap-ups, compromises - anything just to make it to bed without being angry. My kryptonite? Pick an argument 30 minutes before bedtime.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Although this was not required for Pre-Cana, I felt it useful to take a look at how I function during a conflict. Since I genuinely want to be a god husband and prefer to 'argue healthily' so to say, I hope I can recall such pearls of wisdom when I'm frustrated. The relationship is worth it but talk is cheap. Actions speak so much louder than words.

Some legalspeak for those interested in what legal ramifications come from an international marriage. What have I learned? 새미's last name doesn't change just because I'm American, most foreign spouses are Chinese and almost 15% of all marriages in Korea are considered to be international.

- International Marriage: Statistics and definition  
- Legal Effects of International Marriage in Korea

On a related note, in that it is totally unrelated, we are in the midst of 'the ring' talk.

Rings. What do they symbolize in America? I'm no expert but a married man wears his wedding ring. Period. If you remove it it's because it's only for a brief time (such as showering, swimming, changing oil in a car, etc) or to do something elicit in which the other party doesn't know you're married. I'm not the latter.

However, rings are not that big of a deal for married folk here. It's been estimated that only 20% of Koreans actually regularly wear their ring. For example, all married people in my department don't wear their ring. Most common answer as to why they don't? "It's uncomfortable." my response? "is your marriage uncomfortable?" insert awkward silence.

I am attuned with Korean culture. I'm in no ways an expert but I'm comfortable with the majority of customs and culture of this wonderful country and its people. But I will wear my ring regularly. That's my American heritage and I'm not changing it for anything. A wedding ring is a symbol of commitment and I take it as a vow to respect and cherish her. The ring is a big deal to me.

But as it turns out, rings in Korea are generally, cheap. Inexpensive and low quality. I'm not bashing the entire market but after looking at about a dozen different ring shops, I'm starting to see a pattern - they all are junk.

Thankfully 새미 and I can agree on the design which is the hybrid gold/silver type. Prices are running upwards of 640 000원 for the pair (550 USD) which is not bad considering it's going to be with me for quite some time.

In addition to this, we're getting Catholic rings (묵주반지). I've also heard them called 'Rosary Rings' and 'Holy Rings'. Either way, most Catholics in Korea require them. They are generally inexpensive and easy to purchase but as Catholics are in the minority, the best one can do is order from a catalog. We've seen a few in real life but the choice selection in the order books is much more impressive. But you can't try them on beforehand. Also, cool-colored people like me who look better in silver are out of luck - most 묵주반지 are gold. Also, for those curious, the Catholic rings are worn on the index finger - not the ring finger. They are essentially roasaries-on-a-ring. Although I initially looked at them and throw up in my mouth at how gaudy they look, I realized that they are not to be thought of as fashion rings - rather as mobile material representatives of the commitment to live in a Christ-like marriage. In that case, ugly gold rings? Not that big of a deal. They represent more than just some bumps on the side of a hideous circle of melted gold. 

Anyways, so that brings the total rings needed to four - no 'engagement ring' per se but two wedding bands and two Catholic rings for the both of us. Most "wedding bands" are actually referred to as "couple rings" which is just as cheesy as anything, so I insisted that we call them what they really are. Wedding rings.

I've graduated middle school. I don't need couple rings anymore.

So, when all rings are bought I'll be sure to update but until then, we're still looking. Apparently I'm a bit picky but like I told 새미, I think that's a compliment. If I were to hastily pick out the first ring I saw in a shop just because the salesperson was nice, what does that say about my choice in her? I carefully chose her and I will carefully choose a symbol of my commitment to her.

So just deal with my tantrums until then, yeah?

It's Korea and I'm sure things are more difficult than they need to be. Only in Korea do you have to go through three different windows to get a pair of ice skating shoes so I imagine getting married will result in me doing several backflips in front of the embassy to prove my citizenship. Better get started.

Granted, I've read a decent amount on Japanese colonization, Three Kingdoms period and the modern Korean presidency but I know close to nothing about Korean weddings or the process of marriage in Korea. I'm learning as I go along. Backflips seem to be needed.

A lot of things are understandably different compared to American tradition and I am positive I'll post a comparative list when it's all said and done but for now, I'm just going to smile nicely and show up on the day of the wedding with my big boy clothes.

Now, as far as the American wedding and documents required for Saemi's citizenship, that's on me. I'm a great problem solver and I need to get started on how to get it all done. When it all seems too much and bit overwhelming, I just remember that almost 6,000 people get married in the states every day. Imagine how many people worldwide. If those schmucks can do it, so can I (why am I calling the world population a schmuck? what did the world do to me?)

I feel a bit logistically unprepared for it all. Not emotionally, but just the ins-and-outs of the process are daunting. For all the books I've read, I never picked up this one and I'm sad I didn't. The best I can do is listen to my future in-laws. Till then, Lee's Korean Blog gave a great breakdown of an Australian marrying a Korean. Thanks Lee for being so thorough. part 1, part 2, part 3.

Anyways, it looks like one of the first things that I'm noticing is that religious ceremonies in Korea don't create a legally-biding marriage. However, the official process doesn't seem too bad at all. The US Embassy even has a great little choose-your-own-adventure. Let's do it together!

Start here! Okay, so I chose get married in Korea, turn to page forty-seven. Okay, it looks like as an American, I need:
- my passport
- 90 USD
- two copies of Affidavit for Eligibility for Marriage, one notarized by U.S. Embassy
- three copies of Report and Certificate of Marriage, two notarized by U.S. Embassy, one to be left at ward office (구청)
- other information, advice (i.e. don't sign the papers until you are at the office, office closed wednesdays)
- procedure order (first embassy, then 구청, then back to embassy)

Wow, that's not as bad as I thought it would be. As a Korean, Saemi needs a few documents for her family registry. She'll also need a green card (LPR) for life in America. For that matter, getting her legal status in the states does not seem like it's going to be a walk in the park. A brief overview. Oh, ever wonder how much money it costs to become a legal permanent resident of America? 400 USD. I don't know what to think of it but it seems like such an obscure amount.

Anyways, I need to get cracking. To think, all this just for two people to socially and legally announce that they want to make babies together one day. Kind of unsettling but obviously worth it. 

This is a bit scary. Not the whole "picking the right spouse" part - that side of things was actually quite easy. I'm talking about the logistics of an international marriage and the religious aspect of it. As of this writing, I'm an American male who is Buddhist. Kind of. My fiance is a Korean female who is Catholic. Really.

What does that mean for me? Even a cursory knowledge of Catholicism lets me know a few things about how Catholics do marriage. It's a big deal, it's never outside and only Catholics can marry other Catholics. Well, not exactly. All that plus ritualized confession, the Pope, and those nasty scandals. Yep.

My predicament? I'm torn. A bit of my history to understand why. I was raised in the Methodist church by devoted Methodist parents. This upbringing taught me more than just a few songs and how to drink grape juice once a month. Regular sunday school, in retrospect, taught me morals. That's a huge thing. When I was in junior high, I changed attendance to a hellfire-and-brimstone Baptist church. This sparked a lot of passion in me but ultimately left me disillusioned and disappointed in Christianity for all its loopholes, contradictions, double standards, historical wars, discrimination and attitude towards homosexuality. I had enough of what God had to say about how awful of a person I was. I then went through a transition period and found myself eventually curious about Buddhism in junior college. I converted philosophically but resisted a lot of the religious aspects for comfort reasons. I saw no point in sitting in a mediation hall when I can meditate on my own at my leisure. This formed one of the foundations of my adult identity. No longer was I torn about pick-and-choose Christianity. I was no longer affiliated with a church that fundamentally looks down upon Man as some sort of failed experiment, imperfect doomed to fail from the get-go. I could now worship no one (as Buddhists don't worship Buddha, just to throw that out there) and attend any religious service I deemed suitable for my spiritual journey. So, I attended church with my parents on occasion and enjoyed it. I liked talking religion when given the opportunity. Then, I go and mess everything up by falling in love with a Catholic.

Gone are my free spirit days of "there's no such thing as divine intervention, miracles, predetermined destiny (aka God's plan), heaven, hell, purgatory, original sin, prayer and an omnipotent being whole created life and governs life as we know it." Gone. Now, I'm torn. What if God made Saemi just for me? What if He had all this planned all along? The idea of not having control over my own destiny is a bit unsettling. 

However, because of my love for Saemi, I am more than willing to entertain the idea that my life is possibly more than just what I think it is. Maybe it's bigger than me. Maybe it's been God all along. Maybe I'm not perfect. Maybe through Catholicism life means more. Maybe.

I've been going to a lot of Mass since we met and although I have pretty much no clue what's going on in terms of language (seeing as how it's in Korean) I have been reading about the history of Catholicism in Korea and have been following along with a few small guides. To her credit, Saemi has been doing her best to explain things to me in English as well as find the appropriate passage in my little book. This helps me to read along. The songs, thankfully, are familiar and the overall concept of recitation of beliefs and sacred communion is not that much different than the Methodist church. So, maybe life as a Catholic will not just be "not that bad" but maybe it will be better than I had imagined.

But, I don't want to be that guy. I don't want to be a guy that goes through religious like a new pair of boxers - throw it away when it has served it's purpose. I may be a blasphemous buffet spiritualist but I'm respectful enough to know that the Catholic church places a huge amount of importance on conversion. It's genuinely a life-changing commitment that permeates one's life and lasts long after one is gone. Not a small decision by any stretch of the imagination. I need to think about that.

So, to convert to just marry? That's not me. Convert to change my life? that's a strong possibility. I just don't want to be pushed. Thankfully, Saemi has never once said that I have to convert. She is wise enough to know that it's a personal decision and one that must be made without coercion. Sure, there's some underlining pressure from her parents simply because they have something wonderful that has enriched their lives that they want to share with their future son-in-law. No one can fault them for that. But, they too, are allowing me the freedom to convert on my own. For this, I'm thankful.

And marriage? That's a whole nother post...But a short history: My parents set incredibly good examples of what a married couple is - a team. They were and still are inseparable in terms of making decisions as a team. They are faithful to each other, don't raise their voices at each other (although my dad has a knack for finding new and innovated ways of being annoying). Furthermore, they demonstrated a genuine care and concern not only for each other as a couple but as parents. I can't thank them enough. I got it good and I know it. Love you guys.

I only hope that I can set a similar example for my children one day. I want them to cherish marriage as a permanent reality and to respect the upbringing they receive as one of the ways we provide for them. Needless to say, them kids are going to be some cute little halvsie Catholics. 

 So it was Christmas in Korea. Yes, it's nasty cold. It's snowy. It wasn't lonely. It was a bit stressful and tiring but it was also incredible beyond words. As much as I would love to cherish a play by play, the four days we spent in 춘천 might be a bit much for me to write. Suffice it to say we did a lot, saw a lot, a made a lot of memories.

Highlights include:

• a Christmas day classical music concert which was lovely
• more Mass than I can count
• good food from 새미's mom
• Seriously, a lot of Mass
• the family dog being nice to only me
• not understanding the insanely hard Korean going on around me
• junk food from 새미's mom which is a huge oddity
• and the best Christmas gift ever. This deserves a description

So, it was Christmas night with 새미's parents in 춘천. We had received a call from her sister from the nunnery. That was awesome in and of itself. It had started snowing this light powdery snow that felt like baking powder. I had called my family and wished them all a merry christmas. We made it home after the thirtieth Mass we attended and we had just finished some delicious but terribly unhealthy fried chicken. So there we were, the four of us (plus 미래 the dog) just talking about whatever. A little about our future plans, a little about Catholicism, a little about work, and the like.

Then, out the blue, 새미's dad just says "알았어. 결혼해" ("Okay. Go get married")

Shocking to say the least. This is coming from a very conservative 부산 man who is under-spoken and quite reserved. Hell, I was convinced he didn't like me despite 새미's assurance that he had actually been showing his nice side to me all the while. 

Anyways, we immediately sat up straight in respect and I bowed whilst sitting and shook his hand. I thanked him while I held back the widest grin ever. 새미 immediately started crying and was just overall caught off guard. Here we were talking about the health benefits from potatoes or something and then we were talking about what month would be good and how I could get my family here in Korea for the ceremony.

Best Christmas gift ever. I hadn't expected the approval until at least another year. So now it seems that we might be coming back to Texas around August. The plans are still being worked out but all we know is that we are incredibly happy and can't wait for what's ahead.

If we were to plan ideally, I would teach to pay off the student loan debt, and 새미 would start grad school in the states. When she finishes a few years later, I would start grad school. By that time, most of my debt would have been taken care of (but certainly not all of it) but at least enough to live a bit more comfortably.

Anyways, the best part is that we got the approval and are going to do it right. I feel a bit old in terms of starting a family but this is a time in my life that I'm actually ready to get married.

Okay stop gushing. Done.