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I can't believe I missed some classic Smith lines. Here's the original list. Here's what should have been added:
I'm too little...my eye hurts....I gotta take a B.M. - this is kind of crude, but my brother was like three years old when he said this, so cut him some slack. These three lines were used in defense when my parents would ask him to do something. These three things were reasons why he couldn't do the task - be it clean his room, put up his dirty dishes, or anything else. Now, we all use this phrase when we feel lazy and don't want to do something. I know it's a little off-putting but it's pretty funny now.
go-like-this - This is more like a thinking process. When my dad is going through the steps of a process (assembling a piece of furniture, rearranged a desk, etc) he walks me through his thinking by announcing at each step "go-like-this" but it's pronounced more like "고리이크띴" or "go-like-dis" it is nonsensensical but I find myself doing it, too.
Atomic crickets - this is what a squeaky belt sounds like for a truck. Imagine mutant crickets who had glowing green eyes and never-ending amounts of energy to make loud squeaking. This crickets cannot be harmed and like the Incredible Hulk, you wouldn't like them when they're mad.
Go for a walk? Eat some chalk? - the family dog Sprout loves going on a walk. So much so that when she was little, she would freak out in glee when she even the word "walk" out of context in our conversations. Then we realized that she just reacted to the /alk sound. So, when we wanted to take her on a walk, we would tease her by asking her "Wanna eat some chalk?" or "Wanna go have a talk?". When we wanted to talk about taking her on a walk, we had to spell it out so as to not get her all worked up prematurely. "Can you go take Sprout on a W-A-L-K?" My brother even says to his dog "Let's go for a W"
Buckle up, buttercup - this is what a person says to other people in the car when it's time to fasten their seat belts.
Best Boy - this prestigious award went to the best behaved kid when the family went to Oklahoma. As you can imagine, having three active boys and two adults in the car for seven hours can be trying, so my mom would be taking notes and would announce the best boy at the Red River and at the end of the trip. My and my brothers fought diligently for this award. My dad never won. He always got "Worst Boy"
Crappy # - This numbering system was used to differentiate the trucks in the family. At one point, all three boys and my father all drove Ford trucks. Moreover, they all looked alike. So, we had a numbering system for the old trucks that were falling apart. the original 1983 Ford F-150 truck that was my dad's for a long time was the grandfather - Crappy One, then my old truck was Crappy Two, etc. Right now, we're at Crappy Seven or something like that. My current trucks (SUV)'s name is "Betsy" as she is great and not at all crappy.
Poke in the nose - this is like a cross between an idle threat and a remedy for anything that is wrong with you... like verbal chicken soup. A poke in the nose is what someone deserves when they have done nothing wrong yet they somehow deserve to be punished. It's usually heard as "You wanna a poke in the nose?"
I'm too little...my eye hurts....I gotta take a B.M. - this is kind of crude, but my brother was like three years old when he said this, so cut him some slack. These three lines were used in defense when my parents would ask him to do something. These three things were reasons why he couldn't do the task - be it clean his room, put up his dirty dishes, or anything else. Now, we all use this phrase when we feel lazy and don't want to do something. I know it's a little off-putting but it's pretty funny now.
go-like-this - This is more like a thinking process. When my dad is going through the steps of a process (assembling a piece of furniture, rearranged a desk, etc) he walks me through his thinking by announcing at each step "go-like-this" but it's pronounced more like "고리이크띴" or "go-like-dis" it is nonsensensical but I find myself doing it, too.
Atomic crickets - this is what a squeaky belt sounds like for a truck. Imagine mutant crickets who had glowing green eyes and never-ending amounts of energy to make loud squeaking. This crickets cannot be harmed and like the Incredible Hulk, you wouldn't like them when they're mad.
Go for a walk? Eat some chalk? - the family dog Sprout loves going on a walk. So much so that when she was little, she would freak out in glee when she even the word "walk" out of context in our conversations. Then we realized that she just reacted to the /alk sound. So, when we wanted to take her on a walk, we would tease her by asking her "Wanna eat some chalk?" or "Wanna go have a talk?". When we wanted to talk about taking her on a walk, we had to spell it out so as to not get her all worked up prematurely. "Can you go take Sprout on a W-A-L-K?" My brother even says to his dog "Let's go for a W"
Buckle up, buttercup - this is what a person says to other people in the car when it's time to fasten their seat belts.
Best Boy - this prestigious award went to the best behaved kid when the family went to Oklahoma. As you can imagine, having three active boys and two adults in the car for seven hours can be trying, so my mom would be taking notes and would announce the best boy at the Red River and at the end of the trip. My and my brothers fought diligently for this award. My dad never won. He always got "Worst Boy"
Crappy # - This numbering system was used to differentiate the trucks in the family. At one point, all three boys and my father all drove Ford trucks. Moreover, they all looked alike. So, we had a numbering system for the old trucks that were falling apart. the original 1983 Ford F-150 truck that was my dad's for a long time was the grandfather - Crappy One, then my old truck was Crappy Two, etc. Right now, we're at Crappy Seven or something like that. My current trucks (SUV)'s name is "Betsy" as she is great and not at all crappy.
I'm a student of a foreign language. I study Korean. It's what I do. Before Korean, I was interested in Spanish, largely due to my proximity to Mexico and the abundance of Spanish speaking students at the schools I worked at as a substitute teacher. I would not call myself bilingual or trilingual for any reason, but I would consider myself able to make plenty of insults in Spanish.
But, before I go into my history and journey with the Korean language, I'm forgetting my first real second language. I speak Texan.
Since my ESL classes, I can turn it off and on like a facet. My southern accent disappears on command and reappears at the sight of anyone from the South. But, like many other families, I have another language that I speak fluently. Smith. Like any other 사투리, it turns off and on at will.
My family has some great sayings and peculiar words. They include:
there are also a few set phrases that have special meaning (or more importantly, no meaning outside of the Smith family):
Also here are few family titles. Some are quite normal while others...well...others are questionable.
My dad has a few alter egos that aren't to be trifled with. They originate as a means to wake up me and my brothers when we were little (and had trouble getting out of bed on time). They are:
And my all time favorite, any story that my dad would tell me at night started with the same setting:
those stories were the best.
But, before I go into my history and journey with the Korean language, I'm forgetting my first real second language. I speak Texan.
Since my ESL classes, I can turn it off and on like a facet. My southern accent disappears on command and reappears at the sight of anyone from the South. But, like many other families, I have another language that I speak fluently. Smith. Like any other 사투리, it turns off and on at will.
My family has some great sayings and peculiar words. They include:
Pookie - noun - definition: men's cologne. E.G. "I got some sweet smelling pookie for Christmas"
Shuck - verb - definition: to stand someone up at golf. E.G. "I got shucked today at the golf course"
Goodle bug - verb - definition: to annoy or bother. E.G. "Stop goodle bugging me~"
Doodle bug - noun - definition: any unknown insect. E.G. "I saw some doodle bugs in the red shed"
Clicker - noun - definition: any remote control. E.G. "Do you know where the clicker is?"
Getter - noun - definition: any useful tool. E.G. "Just use the getter, son"
A Killed Goat - noun - definition: a state of exhaustion. E.G. "I'm so tired, I feel like a killed goat"
Belly wop - verb - definition: to unexpectedly jump on someone while they are on the bed reading or sleeping. E.G. ".....belly wop!....*impact*.."
Bob dink - noun - definition: a small child. E.G. "You used to played with G.I.Joes all the time when you were just a little bob dink"
Goodle bug - verb - definition: to annoy or bother. E.G. "Stop goodle bugging me~"
Doodle bug - noun - definition: any unknown insect. E.G. "I saw some doodle bugs in the red shed"
Clicker - noun - definition: any remote control. E.G. "Do you know where the clicker is?"
Getter - noun - definition: any useful tool. E.G. "Just use the getter, son"
A Killed Goat - noun - definition: a state of exhaustion. E.G. "I'm so tired, I feel like a killed goat"
Belly wop - verb - definition: to unexpectedly jump on someone while they are on the bed reading or sleeping. E.G. ".....belly wop!....*impact*.."
Bob dink - noun - definition: a small child. E.G. "You used to played with G.I.Joes all the time when you were just a little bob dink"
there are also a few set phrases that have special meaning (or more importantly, no meaning outside of the Smith family):
Let's roll, Ralph = let's go now. when my mom says this, it means that we have to leave immediately. do not waste time.
Let me smell that hair = did you take a shower? my mom used to ask me this because it was the only way to tell if I actually took a shower or just ran the water without getting in and instead played Gameboy in the bathroom
Let me smell that hair = did you take a shower? my mom used to ask me this because it was the only way to tell if I actually took a shower or just ran the water without getting in and instead played Gameboy in the bathroom
Splash some cold water on your face = the best cure for a kid that is either flustered, embarrassed, or crying
Let me crack a flea in your ear = a trick my mom would do to make me fall asleep. She would rub her fingernails together until they made a cracking sounding, which sounded like a little flea being crushed. Why this was relaxing, I have no idea, but it always worked.
Let me crack a flea in your ear = a trick my mom would do to make me fall asleep. She would rub her fingernails together until they made a cracking sounding, which sounded like a little flea being crushed. Why this was relaxing, I have no idea, but it always worked.
Turn the heater fan off = my dad's plea to turn off the heater fan in two of the bathrooms in the house at night. This was to prevent hte house from burning down over night as these ceiling fans with heat coils produced a lot of heat. But, I never once used these fans as Texas is generally pretty hot year-round and I never had a reason to heat the bathroom, even in the winter. Regardless, he also checked them at night and asked me to turn them off. But, they were 99% always off.
Never going to let a big dog get you = this good night phrase was said to reassure me that no dog would attack me. Apparently I was either scared of dogs as a kid or just my mom wanted to protect me. But, as luck would have it, a big dog did get me when I was eight years old. My friend's dog attacked me in an accident which resulted in my right nostril being ripped off. I have a slight fold on my nose from the accident. To this day, I almost never get a runny nose in my right nostril as most of the inside is reconstructed from the surgery.
Never going to let a big dog get you = this good night phrase was said to reassure me that no dog would attack me. Apparently I was either scared of dogs as a kid or just my mom wanted to protect me. But, as luck would have it, a big dog did get me when I was eight years old. My friend's dog attacked me in an accident which resulted in my right nostril being ripped off. I have a slight fold on my nose from the accident. To this day, I almost never get a runny nose in my right nostril as most of the inside is reconstructed from the surgery.
Also here are few family titles. Some are quite normal while others...well...others are questionable.
Dad-O = Dad
Momma = Mom
Momma = Mom
Grammaw = Grandmother
Rooster = Andrew, 큰형
Rooster = Andrew, 큰형
Frog = Todd, 작은 형
Skitty, Skeeter, Skeets, Third Bird, Precious little lamb = Me, 막내
Skitty, Skeeter, Skeets, Third Bird, Precious little lamb = Me, 막내
Sprinkles, Sprinks, Noodle Dog, Big'Un, Chubbs, Plus-Sized-Dog = Sprout, the family dog
My dad has a few alter egos that aren't to be trifled with. They originate as a means to wake up me and my brothers when we were little (and had trouble getting out of bed on time). They are:
The Chicken = an animated hand puppet has taken form in an annoying, happy go lucky chicken who sings a wake up song called "Good Morning Little Feller (It's A Good Morning to You)". He also makes appearances every birthday. What else to say about the Chicken? to know The Chicken is to hate The Chicken.
Opera Whale = just as annoying, this early morning technique employs single, sustained vibratic note as long as humanly possible. It's amazing how it will either make you wake up or laugh or both. Either way, you're waking up whether you want to or not. The Opera Whale demands a standing ovation for his performance.
Opera Whale = just as annoying, this early morning technique employs single, sustained vibratic note as long as humanly possible. It's amazing how it will either make you wake up or laugh or both. Either way, you're waking up whether you want to or not. The Opera Whale demands a standing ovation for his performance.
And my all time favorite, any story that my dad would tell me at night started with the same setting:
A long time ago, in a deep, dark forest, along the Itchy, Getchy, and Gooma-Gama river, there lived a...
those stories were the best.
...to do nothing and get away with it. I'm in my hometown for another month.
Like a renegade robot who has become self-aware, I know that this is my last chance to do nothing. I can sleep three times a day, work out like I'm trying out for GQ, and spend as much time with my family as possible. I can read books at my leisure. I can re-watch old Star Trek TNG episodes. I can read and reread notes. I can write messages. I can research my town's history. I can eat anything (and I do mean anything). I can watch 소녀시대 videos four times a day (too honest?).
This is it. From here on out, it's work. bills. stress. obligations. overtime. a house. the ocean. a family. kids. career. retirement. traveling. grandkids. death.
Like a lucid dream, I know that this is it. Not only that, but this time is precious because it also marks a time when my choices have huge repercussions. Do I stay in Texas? that has ramifications. Do I move to Korea? that has some serious responsibilities attached. Do I go to graduate school? that changes everything.
Okay. Permit me to be cheesy. Don't worry, it's only for a moment.
When I was in high school, there was this phenomenal male role model of a teacher named Charles Madison. Mr. Madison was a war veteran with no tolerance for mediocrity or well put together insecure high school sophomores. In his humanities class, he required that we study poetry and commit to memory a few poems such as Sonnet 29, Annabel Lee, and The Road Not Taken. It is the last poem that comes to mind most recently:
This poem comes to mind...which is funny seeing as how I most generally hate poetry. I mean, I can respect a great work of art and appreciate it for it's form and beauty but I am not particularly fond of the form. But, this poem really rings true to me at this point. I'm at crossroads in every sense of the word. Staying true to the idea of not having regret, I know I must choose one path and live with it.
Anyways, thanks Mr. Madison for making me aware of such beauty. and "boo" to Korea for tempting for as long as you have. Shame on you.
Like a renegade robot who has become self-aware, I know that this is my last chance to do nothing. I can sleep three times a day, work out like I'm trying out for GQ, and spend as much time with my family as possible. I can read books at my leisure. I can re-watch old Star Trek TNG episodes. I can read and reread notes. I can write messages. I can research my town's history. I can eat anything (and I do mean anything). I can watch 소녀시대 videos four times a day (too honest?).
This is it. From here on out, it's work. bills. stress. obligations. overtime. a house. the ocean. a family. kids. career. retirement. traveling. grandkids. death.
Like a lucid dream, I know that this is it. Not only that, but this time is precious because it also marks a time when my choices have huge repercussions. Do I stay in Texas? that has ramifications. Do I move to Korea? that has some serious responsibilities attached. Do I go to graduate school? that changes everything.
Okay. Permit me to be cheesy. Don't worry, it's only for a moment.
When I was in high school, there was this phenomenal male role model of a teacher named Charles Madison. Mr. Madison was a war veteran with no tolerance for mediocrity or well put together insecure high school sophomores. In his humanities class, he required that we study poetry and commit to memory a few poems such as Sonnet 29, Annabel Lee, and The Road Not Taken. It is the last poem that comes to mind most recently:
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
This poem comes to mind...which is funny seeing as how I most generally hate poetry. I mean, I can respect a great work of art and appreciate it for it's form and beauty but I am not particularly fond of the form. But, this poem really rings true to me at this point. I'm at crossroads in every sense of the word. Staying true to the idea of not having regret, I know I must choose one path and live with it.
Anyways, thanks Mr. Madison for making me aware of such beauty. and "boo" to Korea for tempting for as long as you have. Shame on you.
