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...to do nothing and get away with it. I'm in my hometown for another month.
Like a renegade robot who has become self-aware, I know that this is my last chance to do nothing. I can sleep three times a day, work out like I'm trying out for GQ, and spend as much time with my family as possible. I can read books at my leisure. I can re-watch old Star Trek TNG episodes. I can read and reread notes. I can write messages. I can research my town's history. I can eat anything (and I do mean anything). I can watch 소녀시대 videos four times a day (too honest?).
This is it. From here on out, it's work. bills. stress. obligations. overtime. a house. the ocean. a family. kids. career. retirement. traveling. grandkids. death.
Like a lucid dream, I know that this is it. Not only that, but this time is precious because it also marks a time when my choices have huge repercussions. Do I stay in Texas? that has ramifications. Do I move to Korea? that has some serious responsibilities attached. Do I go to graduate school? that changes everything.
Okay. Permit me to be cheesy. Don't worry, it's only for a moment.
When I was in high school, there was this phenomenal male role model of a teacher named Charles Madison. Mr. Madison was a war veteran with no tolerance for mediocrity or well put together insecure high school sophomores. In his humanities class, he required that we study poetry and commit to memory a few poems such as Sonnet 29, Annabel Lee, and The Road Not Taken. It is the last poem that comes to mind most recently:
This poem comes to mind...which is funny seeing as how I most generally hate poetry. I mean, I can respect a great work of art and appreciate it for it's form and beauty but I am not particularly fond of the form. But, this poem really rings true to me at this point. I'm at crossroads in every sense of the word. Staying true to the idea of not having regret, I know I must choose one path and live with it.
Anyways, thanks Mr. Madison for making me aware of such beauty. and "boo" to Korea for tempting for as long as you have. Shame on you.
Like a renegade robot who has become self-aware, I know that this is my last chance to do nothing. I can sleep three times a day, work out like I'm trying out for GQ, and spend as much time with my family as possible. I can read books at my leisure. I can re-watch old Star Trek TNG episodes. I can read and reread notes. I can write messages. I can research my town's history. I can eat anything (and I do mean anything). I can watch 소녀시대 videos four times a day (too honest?).
This is it. From here on out, it's work. bills. stress. obligations. overtime. a house. the ocean. a family. kids. career. retirement. traveling. grandkids. death.
Like a lucid dream, I know that this is it. Not only that, but this time is precious because it also marks a time when my choices have huge repercussions. Do I stay in Texas? that has ramifications. Do I move to Korea? that has some serious responsibilities attached. Do I go to graduate school? that changes everything.
Okay. Permit me to be cheesy. Don't worry, it's only for a moment.
When I was in high school, there was this phenomenal male role model of a teacher named Charles Madison. Mr. Madison was a war veteran with no tolerance for mediocrity or well put together insecure high school sophomores. In his humanities class, he required that we study poetry and commit to memory a few poems such as Sonnet 29, Annabel Lee, and The Road Not Taken. It is the last poem that comes to mind most recently:
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
This poem comes to mind...which is funny seeing as how I most generally hate poetry. I mean, I can respect a great work of art and appreciate it for it's form and beauty but I am not particularly fond of the form. But, this poem really rings true to me at this point. I'm at crossroads in every sense of the word. Staying true to the idea of not having regret, I know I must choose one path and live with it.
Anyways, thanks Mr. Madison for making me aware of such beauty. and "boo" to Korea for tempting for as long as you have. Shame on you.
Comments
I was surprised, well.. it's not so unusual tho.
kkk. anyways do you know a Korean poet 피천득?
this is translated by him by the way..
가지 않은 길
노란 숲 속에 길이 두 갈래로 났었습니다.
나는 두 길을 다 가지 못하는 것을 안타깝게 생각하면서,
오랫동안 서서 한 길이 굽어 꺾여 내려간 데까지,
바라다볼 수 있는 데까지 멀리 바라다보았습니다.
그리고, 똑같이 아름다운 다른 길을 택했습니다.
그 길에는 풀이 더 있고 사람이 걸은 자취가 적어,
아마 더 걸어야 될 길이라고 나는 생각했었던 게지요.
그 길을 걸으므로, 그 길도 거의 같아질 것이지만.
그 날 아침 두 길에는
낙엽을 밟은 자취는 없었습니다.
아, 나는 다음 날을 위하여 한 길은 남겨 두었습니다.
길은 길에 연하여 끝없으므로
내가 다시 돌아올 것을 의심하면서….
훗날에 훗날에 나는 어디선가
한숨을 쉬며 이야기할 것입니다.
숲 속에 두 갈래 길이 있었다고,
나는 사람이 적게 간 길을 택하였고
그리고 그것 때문에 모든 것이 달라졌다고.
====
we don't know whether the road we take
is gonna be worse or better (than the present.)
that's what we call it a risk.
I am, by nature,an explorer in terms of taking
a risk and trying on what I want. take the road
to where your heart leads you not to where
the majority follow.. you know that well.
화이팅!!! ^^
S for signal.