![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
Plagiarism.
Recently, a startup website aiming to "allow us to represent Korea to foreigners living here in Korea as well as Abroad. The whole website will be targeted toward foreigners living in and outside of Korea and it would be used to help people who are struggling to live in Korea find new things and places to visit. " ripped off a lot of my personal content. They copied and pasted word for word all recent posts from this blog and my Korean self-studying blog. What's more is that sometimes they linked back to me as if I were a contributor and other times they simply took the source, slapped their name on it and called it theirs without so much as a link. Bravo.
Nothing upsets me more than to see someone taking credit for something that they didn't do. I'm not just talking about my own work. Call it the Texan pride or the traditional American sense of right and wrong but I can't stand it when some random person takes something, copies and pastes it and claims it's their own. I know I'm the first to experience this but it still burns me up.
The company I'm talking about will remain anonymous - not by their request because frankly I could care less about them - but I just don't want people to go to their site. Stuff like this gets to me. Unfortunately, it's not the only thing.
Things at my school are changing. I'm getting one new coworker in March and one new direct supervisor (부장). Good news I suppose comes with bad news. They also planned for me to teach during the two week break between semesters when no kids and no teachers will be here. I'm not talking about coming to work and sitting at a desk. They expect me to teach some teachers (who never show up) and 2nd graders. I'm to do this alone. Hate to be the one to tell them this but I don't speak Korean that well. These kids (and teachers) don't speak English. My principal and supervisor decided this all without me.
Honestly, this isn't the worst thing. When I finish my contract, expect a post about what should have been done differently at this school but this situation is not the most uncommon. Lack of communication and a clear lack of respect for my professional opinion is par for the course in Korea. It just wears on me. This clearly isn't my dream job.
I'm just disenchanted with English teaching in Korea. I have little other choice. I love the kids but my coworkers and supervisors are really sucking the life out of someone who actually cares about this country. No wonder why qualified teachers are hard to find out here.
Anyways, in the long run of life, all of this will be a three sentence memory. Oh I remember when that Korean netizen ripped off my blogs... that happened when I worked for a school that didn't care about my profession or about teaching kids proper English.... yeah I remember all that now...
It's comforting to know that this all is temporary but it doesn't make me like my job any more than the next guy. Part of me wishes I was content with being a pawn - a Western face to sell English education to overambitious and overly competitive parents. Part of me wishes I could just sit back and enjoy all of this. This is, as you know, where I wanted to live for so long. I'm practically living my dream, right? Not exactly. Not yet.
Recently, a startup website aiming to "allow us to represent Korea to foreigners living here in Korea as well as Abroad. The whole website will be targeted toward foreigners living in and outside of Korea and it would be used to help people who are struggling to live in Korea find new things and places to visit. " ripped off a lot of my personal content. They copied and pasted word for word all recent posts from this blog and my Korean self-studying blog. What's more is that sometimes they linked back to me as if I were a contributor and other times they simply took the source, slapped their name on it and called it theirs without so much as a link. Bravo.
Nothing upsets me more than to see someone taking credit for something that they didn't do. I'm not just talking about my own work. Call it the Texan pride or the traditional American sense of right and wrong but I can't stand it when some random person takes something, copies and pastes it and claims it's their own. I know I'm the first to experience this but it still burns me up.
The company I'm talking about will remain anonymous - not by their request because frankly I could care less about them - but I just don't want people to go to their site. Stuff like this gets to me. Unfortunately, it's not the only thing.
Things at my school are changing. I'm getting one new coworker in March and one new direct supervisor (부장). Good news I suppose comes with bad news. They also planned for me to teach during the two week break between semesters when no kids and no teachers will be here. I'm not talking about coming to work and sitting at a desk. They expect me to teach some teachers (who never show up) and 2nd graders. I'm to do this alone. Hate to be the one to tell them this but I don't speak Korean that well. These kids (and teachers) don't speak English. My principal and supervisor decided this all without me.
Honestly, this isn't the worst thing. When I finish my contract, expect a post about what should have been done differently at this school but this situation is not the most uncommon. Lack of communication and a clear lack of respect for my professional opinion is par for the course in Korea. It just wears on me. This clearly isn't my dream job.
I'm just disenchanted with English teaching in Korea. I have little other choice. I love the kids but my coworkers and supervisors are really sucking the life out of someone who actually cares about this country. No wonder why qualified teachers are hard to find out here.
Anyways, in the long run of life, all of this will be a three sentence memory. Oh I remember when that Korean netizen ripped off my blogs... that happened when I worked for a school that didn't care about my profession or about teaching kids proper English.... yeah I remember all that now...
It's comforting to know that this all is temporary but it doesn't make me like my job any more than the next guy. Part of me wishes I was content with being a pawn - a Western face to sell English education to overambitious and overly competitive parents. Part of me wishes I could just sit back and enjoy all of this. This is, as you know, where I wanted to live for so long. I'm practically living my dream, right? Not exactly. Not yet.
Admittingly, this isn't a well-researched post. The content was originally an email correspondence and it was simply a cursery search of the subject. However, hopefully it will do some people some good.
Okay, here's what I gathered. via wikipedia: "Revisions to voting laws in 2005 allow foreign nationals aged 19 years and older who have lived in South Korea for more than three years after obtaining permanent resident visas to vote in local elections. 6,746 foreign residents (out of more than 1 million) were eligible to vote in May 31, 2006 local elections." (emphasis mine)
According to a 2006 Korea Times article, foreigners can elect governors, majors and council members ... [but the] NEC does not allow foreign residents to vote in the parliamentary or presidential elections, as current law requires voters for these elections to have South Korean nationality. (emphasis mine)
Finally, eligibility can be found on this great blog post: (must be born before June 1, 1987). Foreigners with following qualifications are entitled to vote;
- maintained permanent residential status (F-5 visa) for over three years,
- have been enrolled in the Register of Foreign Residents of the local jurisdiction.
The last link is what I would consider the most helpful. However, I wonder if anything has changed since 2006.
Okay, here's what I gathered. via wikipedia: "Revisions to voting laws in 2005 allow foreign nationals aged 19 years and older who have lived in South Korea for more than three years after obtaining permanent resident visas to vote in local elections. 6,746 foreign residents (out of more than 1 million) were eligible to vote in May 31, 2006 local elections." (emphasis mine)
According to a 2006 Korea Times article, foreigners can elect governors, majors and council members ... [but the] NEC does not allow foreign residents to vote in the parliamentary or presidential elections, as current law requires voters for these elections to have South Korean nationality. (emphasis mine)
Finally, eligibility can be found on this great blog post: (must be born before June 1, 1987). Foreigners with following qualifications are entitled to vote;
- maintained permanent residential status (F-5 visa) for over three years,
- have been enrolled in the Register of Foreign Residents of the local jurisdiction.
The last link is what I would consider the most helpful. However, I wonder if anything has changed since 2006.
So good news. We bought the rings. All four of them. eek. I'm too bashful to post how much I spent on them but I can say that I spent less than a thousand USD for two wedding bands and two Catholic rings. Not bad.
So bad news. I accidentally put my digital camera in the washing machine. So as much as I want to post photos of the rings, I have no way of doing so at the moment. Patience.
In the meantime, we are aiming to make Friday the day we get legally married on paper so as to start the green card process. At minimum, the embassy says that to register for a green card takes at least four months, so we want to get started soon to make sure that after June, we can move to states in late August without a problem. UPDATE: check out this processing time in real time. Technology. I heart you.
The legal process for marriage doesn't seem too bad. But alas now my sights on set on legalizing Saemi and it's amazing how complicated it seems. Oh and it seems I was wrong on the price for registering as a lawful permanent resident. It isn't 355 USD. Yeah that's just the fee for one of the many forms required. A short breakdown of application fees and where you can download the forms:
$0 G-325 Biographic Info
$0 I-864 Affidavit of Support ($70 fee waived if filed overseas)
$355 I-130 Petition for Alien Relative
$1010 I-485 Permanent Residence
$400 IV Interview (see here)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
$1765 total
That's not including any postage, medical checks and/or any other things necessary. Ouch... but obviously completely worth it.
So, just like the marriage steps, I should just spell it out nice and slow. By the way, I'm getting my information from the US Embassy and US Immigration (CIS). Also, this guide is quite helpful.
So, here's my starting point. Note: I'm omitting or shading information that doesn't apply to us.
- - - - - - - - -
Head spinning yet?
Once I get all the appropriate documents, next I need to email this person: CIS-Seoul.Inquiries@DHS.Gov in order to setup an appointment. I should provide my name, name of the beneficiary and country of birth, contact telephone numbers, and several appointment dates and times when you are available. The appointment will be at the US Embassy.
Once we get past all that, the fun part really starts. For a sneak peak, have at it.
So bad news. I accidentally put my digital camera in the washing machine. So as much as I want to post photos of the rings, I have no way of doing so at the moment. Patience.
In the meantime, we are aiming to make Friday the day we get legally married on paper so as to start the green card process. At minimum, the embassy says that to register for a green card takes at least four months, so we want to get started soon to make sure that after June, we can move to states in late August without a problem. UPDATE: check out this processing time in real time. Technology. I heart you.
The legal process for marriage doesn't seem too bad. But alas now my sights on set on legalizing Saemi and it's amazing how complicated it seems. Oh and it seems I was wrong on the price for registering as a lawful permanent resident. It isn't 355 USD. Yeah that's just the fee for one of the many forms required. A short breakdown of application fees and where you can download the forms:
$0 G-325 Biographic Info
$0 I-864 Affidavit of Support ($70 fee waived if filed overseas)
$355 I-130 Petition for Alien Relative
$1010 I-485 Permanent Residence
$400 IV Interview (see here)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
$1765 total
That's not including any postage, medical checks and/or any other things necessary. Ouch... but obviously completely worth it.
So, just like the marriage steps, I should just spell it out nice and slow. By the way, I'm getting my information from the US Embassy and US Immigration (CIS). Also, this guide is quite helpful.
So, here's my starting point. Note: I'm omitting or shading information that doesn't apply to us.
Type of Relative for Whom You May Petition | Immigration Benefit | Related Forms |
| Green Card (Permanent Residence) |
|
| Fiancé(e) Visa |
|
| K-3/K-4 Nonimmigrant Visa |
|
Application Process: Green Card (Permanent Residence)
To petition for a family member to receive a green card (permanent residence), you must submit with your Form I-130, petition for alien relative:
- Proof of your U.S. citizenship
- Evidence of the qualifying relationship (birth certificate, marriage certificate, divorce decree, etc.)
What Happens Next?
- If your relative is outside the United States, your petition will be sent to the National Visa Center (NVC). The NVC will forward your petition to the appropriate U.S. consulate when a visa becomes available and your relative will be notified about how to proceed. This process is referred to as “Consular Processing.”
- Your family member’s preference category will determine how long he or she will have to wait for an immigrant visa number. Once you have filed a petition, you can check its progress on “My Case Status”, in the links to the right. For visa availability information, see the “Visa Bulletin” link to the right.
NOTE: A visa petition (Form I-130) is only used to demonstrate a qualifying relationship. An approved petition DOES NOT grant any benefit, it simply creates a place in line for visa processing.
ADDITIONAL NOTE: Petitioners living in Korea who are not affiliated with the U.S. military or U.S. government, please note: In order for your beneficiary to be eligible for an immigrant visa following petition approval and scheduling of her/his immigrant visa appointment, you as sponsor will need to show you are domiciled (living) in the United States, or actively in the process of relocating to the United States.- - - - - - - - -
Head spinning yet?
Once I get all the appropriate documents, next I need to email this person: CIS-Seoul.Inquiries@DHS.Gov in order to setup an appointment. I should provide my name, name of the beneficiary and country of birth, contact telephone numbers, and several appointment dates and times when you are available. The appointment will be at the US Embassy.
Once we get past all that, the fun part really starts. For a sneak peak, have at it.
Dude, I should author the book "Getting Married in Korea for Dummies". This process is a bit overwhelming not because it's hard but because there are so many things happening simultaneously that it's hard to focus on one at a time. As of now, I have the Pre-Cana class, marriage certificate, and green card prep going on at the same time. Not to mention work, GRE prep research and Korean self-studying.
So, I'm going to translate the steps as fool proof as possible. What's making this process a bit slower is that documents I need are in America...plus, the information that 새미 is receiving from Korean websites are conflicting with my information on occasion. Anyways, this all might look a bit similar to my first post, but bear with me. There's a lot of paperwork to keep track of.
Legal:
Requirements for an American to Marry in Korea
The documents listed below are required by the Korean government, as you will be married under the laws of Korea. These documents essentially replace the Family Census Registry that a Korean citizen presents when s/he wants to get married.
I contacted my local county office back in Texas and am waiting to hear back from them about the 'no prior marriage' certificate. First time I heard of it. I also asked my parents (politely) to mail me my original birth certificate and christening certificate from when I was a little bob dink.
For more Korean terms about getting married, check out the "Wedding" page here. Priceless for those twiddling their thumbs whilst everyone else is speaking Korean.
So, I'm going to translate the steps as fool proof as possible. What's making this process a bit slower is that documents I need are in America...plus, the information that 새미 is receiving from Korean websites are conflicting with my information on occasion. Anyways, this all might look a bit similar to my first post, but bear with me. There's a lot of paperwork to keep track of.
Legal:
Requirements for an American to Marry in Korea
The documents listed below are required by the Korean government, as you will be married under the laws of Korea. These documents essentially replace the Family Census Registry that a Korean citizen presents when s/he wants to get married.
- Proof of US citizenship: A valid United States passport is sufficient to prove U.S. citizen for the purpose of marriage.
- A completed Affidavit of Eligibility for Marriage. You'll need one copy to be notarized by the U.S. Embassy.
- A completed Report and Certificate of Marriage. You'll need three copies, two of which will be notarized by the U.S. Embassy, and one for retention at the Korean Ward Office (구청).
- (Here are instructions for completing these forms)
- Proof of identity: for example, a driver's license, military I.D., etc.
- Proof of termination of any prior marriage(s), including an original or certified copy of a divorce decree, annulment or death certificate for your previous spouse.
- The fee for the notarizations, $90, which can be paid at the Embassy in dollars or in won, or by credit card.
- Family Relationship Certificate (가족관계 증명서): 1 Copy in Korean and 1 in English
- Marriage/Single Status Certificate (혼인관계 증명서): 1 Copy in Korean and 1 in English
- Valid Korean identification card (주민등록증)
- Name stamp (도장)
- Proof of no prior marriage (????) (no honor system?)
- Proof of baptism (세례증명서)
- Proof of birth (가족관계증명서)
- Pre-Cana class completion certificate (????)
I contacted my local county office back in Texas and am waiting to hear back from them about the 'no prior marriage' certificate. First time I heard of it. I also asked my parents (politely) to mail me my original birth certificate and christening certificate from when I was a little bob dink.
For more Korean terms about getting married, check out the "Wedding" page here. Priceless for those twiddling their thumbs whilst everyone else is speaking Korean.
I'm doing a somewhat rare cross-post from my study blog to bring you this lovely, short and sweet twelve-step guide.
The reason for the cross-post is that I would like to comment on each point in a frank manner hopefully to provide myself with an honest look into my habits as a partner. As I'm taking my vows quite seriously, I feel I need to reflect on my strengths as a partner as well as my weaknesses. Pre-Cana class or not, I should be honest with myself. So:
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
1) Never both be angry at once.
An interesting concept. What would logically warrant both partners being mad at the same time? Realistically, this happens more often than not but it shouldn't, really. Ideally, if one is angry or upset, the other should:
2) Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire.
A big one. Although my parents set a fantastic model for conflict resolution, somewhere along the lines, my emo-ness fused with my love of hardcore metal and produced a passive-aggressive yeller. It would take me a lot to raise my voice but once it was raised, it was like fighting a fire with a water pistol. I'm not proud to admit that I yelled a lot in my previous relationships. Regardless of the reason or who instigated what, I should have been composed at all times.
Plus, what is really important enough to yell about? Ever tried explaining a lover's quarrel with a friend? The argument always sounds trivial when repeated to a third party. I should keep this in mind. Also, shouting isn't always a huge boomy voice. Harsh language and rude 눈빚 (eye expression) can be just as hurtful sometimes as screaming.
3) Yield to the wishes of the other as an exercise in self-discipline if you can’t think of a better reason.
Woah. Am I still Buddhist or what? This is like a koan or something, right? Think long and hard about it. This isn't suggesting being a submissive partner. This also ins't saying to just give up because you're partner thinks he/she is right. This is deeper.
My interpretation is that self-discipline, while being fundamentally about oneself, can also be a practice in not only humility but devotion. If my wife is asking me to do something that I either don't want to do or disagree with it, so long as it isn't immoral or evil, what is the harm in just yielding to their wish? Not wielding in the dragging-your-feet-as-you-do-it way but earnestly going along with the choice as if it were your own. To me, this is powerfully motivating and applicable for a stubborn person like myself.
4) If you have a choice between making yourself or your mate look good, choose your mate.
Thankfully, I do this well. Perhaps it's because of my constant lack of face, but I try my best to make my better half look better than myself.
5) If you feel you must criticize, do so lovingly.
I can be direct (as all people can) but sometimes I'm direct when subtleness is either more appropriate or more conducive to social relationships. Some might say I say whatever is whatever on my mind, but that's not true. I am making a conscious effort to say what I say and although I don't mean for it to be hurtful, sometimes it is. In any case, whether one means to be hurtful or not, the end result is still what matters. 잔소리 or not, I should do so kindly and gently.
6) Never bring up a mistake of the past.
This is one of those relationship things that is quite interesting. Almost all reading this would agree that using the past to hurt your partner in the present is always a bad thing. One can't change the past and there's no use in rubbing someone's face in a mistake that they already apologized for. That's not my point.
My point is bringing up the past period. I bring up my own past on occasion and sometimes I'm met with opposition. "Why are you bringing that up?" is usually followed by "I'm just trying to humble myself and provide full disclosure. I don't want secrets. I'm honest". This isn't always what a woman might want to hear (dare I say especially a Korean woman?). However, I'm an honest guy. I don't cheat. I don't make up stories. I just prefer to keep things nice and open for the relationship's sake.
Perhaps this isn't a bad thing, but perhaps I shouldn't volunteer information that might be shocking or disheartening to my partner unless it is asked. That is something I can do. Also, not bringing up her past? Not a problem. Never has been a problem.
7) Neglect the whole world rather than each other.
Again I pull the 'culture' card. I have no problem with pretending the whole world doesn't exist just to enjoy my time with my wife. It's her. Koreans are acutely tuned in to social misgivings no matter how trivial they may seem to a foreigner. I'm good about recognizing these and respecting them but I would prefer it if we were more accepted. Although a white guy and a Korean woman isn't earth-shatteringly shocking, it does warrant stares. Directed more at her than at me.
Solution? Continue to listen to her and unhold hands if necessary in public. It's not often but it happens. It's not about shame - it's about keeping the social wheels greased. I'm not here to change the world; just here to ensure we're both happy. I can compromise to that.
8) Never let the day end without saying at least one complimentary thing to your life partner.
Well said.
9) Never meet without an affectionate greeting.
I like the ambiguity of this. This could imply a kiss on the cheek, a hug, a smile - anything. Natural and important - even when you're upset, in my opinion.
10) When you’ve made a mistake, talk it out and ask for forgiveness.
I'm logical. To a fault sometimes. We've made the joke that God hardwired my brain wrong and denied me the ability to cry. I almost believe it. It's no that I don't feel sadness. Rather, I just don't cry about it. Similarly, when we encounter a problem, I like to talk about it civilly and calmly, even if it's little.
The focus here is that when YOU make a mistake. So, if I want to talk about something she did, perhaps I should wait until she initiates the conversation. Engaging in "full logic conflict resolution" mode might come off as superior or worse, the mediator. We are our own mediators. I hate hearing that it seems like I never make a mistake (which is far from the truth). This must mean, logically, that I am presenting myself improperly. I must be unintentionally coming off as superior. This is something I need to work on with my partner.
As for the second part, I would refer to the step process described in number 1.
Finally, the forgiveness part. I never make fake apologies. I'm stubborn in that regard. If I apologize, I mean it whole-heartedly. No complaints there.
11) Remember, it takes two to make an argument. The one who is wrong is the one who will be doing most of the talking.
What a curious standpoint. It's a bit alien to me but I'm willing to try it. If talking to much implies guilt, then I'm always guilty. No sarcasm. Perhaps I should talk slower, less, and clearer. It might help for my partner to hear less of my voice and more of me just listening. What good advice.
12) Never go to bed mad.
Huge believer in this. I will make countless concessions in order to make peace before bedtime. Ceasefires, timeouts, apologies, wrap-ups, compromises - anything just to make it to bed without being angry. My kryptonite? Pick an argument 30 minutes before bedtime.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Although this was not required for Pre-Cana, I felt it useful to take a look at how I function during a conflict. Since I genuinely want to be a god husband and prefer to 'argue healthily' so to say, I hope I can recall such pearls of wisdom when I'm frustrated. The relationship is worth it but talk is cheap. Actions speak so much louder than words.
As marriage is approaching, I can think of twelve reasons why I should not only repost this, but memorize this list. Memorize, Matthew, memorize...
reposted from Juan-Karl's blog
Twelve Rules for a Happy Marriage
행복한 결혼을 위한 12가지 규칙
Never both be angry at once.
둘이서 동시에 화내지 마라.
Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire.
집에 불이 나지 않는 한 고함을 지르지 마라.
Yield to the wishes of the other as an exercise in self-discipline if you can’t think of a better reason.
더 좋은 이유를 생각할 수 없다면 자기 수양의 차원에서 상대방의 요구에 양보해라.
If you have a choice between making yourself or your mate look good, choose your mate.
파트너를 좋게 보이게 할것인가 자신을 좋게 보이게 할 것인가의 문제가 있으면 파트너를 선택하라.
If you feel you must criticize, do so lovingly.
비판할 점이 있으면 사랑스런 자세로 하라.
Never bring up a mistake of the past.
과거의 실수를 들추지 마라.
Neglect the whole world rather than each other.
서로를 잊어버리니 차라리 세상일을 잊어버려라.
Never let the day end without saying at least one complimentary thing to your life partner.
상대방에게 따뜻한 말한마디없이 하루를 끝내지 마라.
Never meet without an affectionate greeting.
애정있는 말없이 만나서는 안된다.
When you’ve made a mistake, talk it out and ask for forgiveness.
실수를 했다면 그것을 말하고 용서를 빌어라.
Remember, it takes two to make an argument. The one who is wrong is the one who will be doing most of the talking.
기억해라. 논쟁이 있으려면 두 사람이 있어야 한다. 잘못한 사람이 가장 많은 말을 하는 사람이다.
Never go to bed mad.
화난 채로 자지 말라.
What a great list. I'm curious where the author got it originally because he doesn't seem to have much else in terms of Korean language on his blog. I wonder if it is natively Korean or if it is French just translated into English and Korean? Anyone have an idea?
reposted from Juan-Karl's blog
Twelve Rules for a Happy Marriage
행복한 결혼을 위한 12가지 규칙
Never both be angry at once.
둘이서 동시에 화내지 마라.
Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire.
집에 불이 나지 않는 한 고함을 지르지 마라.
Yield to the wishes of the other as an exercise in self-discipline if you can’t think of a better reason.
더 좋은 이유를 생각할 수 없다면 자기 수양의 차원에서 상대방의 요구에 양보해라.
If you have a choice between making yourself or your mate look good, choose your mate.
파트너를 좋게 보이게 할것인가 자신을 좋게 보이게 할 것인가의 문제가 있으면 파트너를 선택하라.
If you feel you must criticize, do so lovingly.
비판할 점이 있으면 사랑스런 자세로 하라.
Never bring up a mistake of the past.
과거의 실수를 들추지 마라.
Neglect the whole world rather than each other.
서로를 잊어버리니 차라리 세상일을 잊어버려라.
Never let the day end without saying at least one complimentary thing to your life partner.
상대방에게 따뜻한 말한마디없이 하루를 끝내지 마라.
Never meet without an affectionate greeting.
애정있는 말없이 만나서는 안된다.
When you’ve made a mistake, talk it out and ask for forgiveness.
실수를 했다면 그것을 말하고 용서를 빌어라.
Remember, it takes two to make an argument. The one who is wrong is the one who will be doing most of the talking.
기억해라. 논쟁이 있으려면 두 사람이 있어야 한다. 잘못한 사람이 가장 많은 말을 하는 사람이다.
Never go to bed mad.
화난 채로 자지 말라.
What a great list. I'm curious where the author got it originally because he doesn't seem to have much else in terms of Korean language on his blog. I wonder if it is natively Korean or if it is French just translated into English and Korean? Anyone have an idea?
The reason for the cross-post is that I would like to comment on each point in a frank manner hopefully to provide myself with an honest look into my habits as a partner. As I'm taking my vows quite seriously, I feel I need to reflect on my strengths as a partner as well as my weaknesses. Pre-Cana class or not, I should be honest with myself. So:
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
1) Never both be angry at once.
An interesting concept. What would logically warrant both partners being mad at the same time? Realistically, this happens more often than not but it shouldn't, really. Ideally, if one is angry or upset, the other should:
- acknowledge their state of mind,
- recall their position,
- state your position,
- apologize,
- come to a compromise.
- come up with a plan for the future so as to avoid a similar misunderstanding
2) Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire.
A big one. Although my parents set a fantastic model for conflict resolution, somewhere along the lines, my emo-ness fused with my love of hardcore metal and produced a passive-aggressive yeller. It would take me a lot to raise my voice but once it was raised, it was like fighting a fire with a water pistol. I'm not proud to admit that I yelled a lot in my previous relationships. Regardless of the reason or who instigated what, I should have been composed at all times.
Plus, what is really important enough to yell about? Ever tried explaining a lover's quarrel with a friend? The argument always sounds trivial when repeated to a third party. I should keep this in mind. Also, shouting isn't always a huge boomy voice. Harsh language and rude 눈빚 (eye expression) can be just as hurtful sometimes as screaming.
3) Yield to the wishes of the other as an exercise in self-discipline if you can’t think of a better reason.
Woah. Am I still Buddhist or what? This is like a koan or something, right? Think long and hard about it. This isn't suggesting being a submissive partner. This also ins't saying to just give up because you're partner thinks he/she is right. This is deeper.
My interpretation is that self-discipline, while being fundamentally about oneself, can also be a practice in not only humility but devotion. If my wife is asking me to do something that I either don't want to do or disagree with it, so long as it isn't immoral or evil, what is the harm in just yielding to their wish? Not wielding in the dragging-your-feet-as-you-do-it way but earnestly going along with the choice as if it were your own. To me, this is powerfully motivating and applicable for a stubborn person like myself.
4) If you have a choice between making yourself or your mate look good, choose your mate.
Thankfully, I do this well. Perhaps it's because of my constant lack of face, but I try my best to make my better half look better than myself.
5) If you feel you must criticize, do so lovingly.
I can be direct (as all people can) but sometimes I'm direct when subtleness is either more appropriate or more conducive to social relationships. Some might say I say whatever is whatever on my mind, but that's not true. I am making a conscious effort to say what I say and although I don't mean for it to be hurtful, sometimes it is. In any case, whether one means to be hurtful or not, the end result is still what matters. 잔소리 or not, I should do so kindly and gently.
6) Never bring up a mistake of the past.
This is one of those relationship things that is quite interesting. Almost all reading this would agree that using the past to hurt your partner in the present is always a bad thing. One can't change the past and there's no use in rubbing someone's face in a mistake that they already apologized for. That's not my point.
My point is bringing up the past period. I bring up my own past on occasion and sometimes I'm met with opposition. "Why are you bringing that up?" is usually followed by "I'm just trying to humble myself and provide full disclosure. I don't want secrets. I'm honest". This isn't always what a woman might want to hear (dare I say especially a Korean woman?). However, I'm an honest guy. I don't cheat. I don't make up stories. I just prefer to keep things nice and open for the relationship's sake.
Perhaps this isn't a bad thing, but perhaps I shouldn't volunteer information that might be shocking or disheartening to my partner unless it is asked. That is something I can do. Also, not bringing up her past? Not a problem. Never has been a problem.
7) Neglect the whole world rather than each other.
Again I pull the 'culture' card. I have no problem with pretending the whole world doesn't exist just to enjoy my time with my wife. It's her. Koreans are acutely tuned in to social misgivings no matter how trivial they may seem to a foreigner. I'm good about recognizing these and respecting them but I would prefer it if we were more accepted. Although a white guy and a Korean woman isn't earth-shatteringly shocking, it does warrant stares. Directed more at her than at me.
Solution? Continue to listen to her and unhold hands if necessary in public. It's not often but it happens. It's not about shame - it's about keeping the social wheels greased. I'm not here to change the world; just here to ensure we're both happy. I can compromise to that.
8) Never let the day end without saying at least one complimentary thing to your life partner.
Well said.
9) Never meet without an affectionate greeting.
I like the ambiguity of this. This could imply a kiss on the cheek, a hug, a smile - anything. Natural and important - even when you're upset, in my opinion.
10) When you’ve made a mistake, talk it out and ask for forgiveness.
I'm logical. To a fault sometimes. We've made the joke that God hardwired my brain wrong and denied me the ability to cry. I almost believe it. It's no that I don't feel sadness. Rather, I just don't cry about it. Similarly, when we encounter a problem, I like to talk about it civilly and calmly, even if it's little.
The focus here is that when YOU make a mistake. So, if I want to talk about something she did, perhaps I should wait until she initiates the conversation. Engaging in "full logic conflict resolution" mode might come off as superior or worse, the mediator. We are our own mediators. I hate hearing that it seems like I never make a mistake (which is far from the truth). This must mean, logically, that I am presenting myself improperly. I must be unintentionally coming off as superior. This is something I need to work on with my partner.
As for the second part, I would refer to the step process described in number 1.
Finally, the forgiveness part. I never make fake apologies. I'm stubborn in that regard. If I apologize, I mean it whole-heartedly. No complaints there.
11) Remember, it takes two to make an argument. The one who is wrong is the one who will be doing most of the talking.
What a curious standpoint. It's a bit alien to me but I'm willing to try it. If talking to much implies guilt, then I'm always guilty. No sarcasm. Perhaps I should talk slower, less, and clearer. It might help for my partner to hear less of my voice and more of me just listening. What good advice.
12) Never go to bed mad.
Huge believer in this. I will make countless concessions in order to make peace before bedtime. Ceasefires, timeouts, apologies, wrap-ups, compromises - anything just to make it to bed without being angry. My kryptonite? Pick an argument 30 minutes before bedtime.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Although this was not required for Pre-Cana, I felt it useful to take a look at how I function during a conflict. Since I genuinely want to be a god husband and prefer to 'argue healthily' so to say, I hope I can recall such pearls of wisdom when I'm frustrated. The relationship is worth it but talk is cheap. Actions speak so much louder than words.
I was recently asked a simple question by a nice young woman whom I know well. She was curious: where do I get my news from? Although I'm sure each expat gets their news from a number of different places, I thought I would post a general starting point for those interested.
So, where do most expats get their information in Korea? Obviously there are plenty of English language places, but these are the big ones:
general:
Korea Beat
Marmot's Hole
Roboseyo
ROK Drop
Brian in Jeollanamdo
daily life:
Galbijim
Korea4Expats
Midnight Runner podcast
Seoul podcast
English versions of Korean newspapers:
Korea Times
Korea Herald
Chosun Ilbo
Yonhap News
entertainment news:
Popseoul
Korean Film
Groove Magazine
history and culture:
Ask A Korean!
Gusts of Popular Feeling
A few places I would request people to avoid are Dave's ESL Cafe and any number of bloggers that seem pissed off at something. If it looks like rude, smells like rude, reads like rude, it is rude. I'd post links but the linkback feature will only attract more people to their havens of negativity and disrespect. Just say no.
Of course I would love to plug my own small archive of Korean culture tidbits but I have no illusions of superiority. My blogs are small and I like it that way. Gives me more room to write without worrying about what people think. For a study blog, I feel that's important.
A few places that I like but aren't big name can be found here. Also, a good place to find personal accounts of life here can be found at the Korean Blog List.
Hope this helps!
UPDATE: just getting into K-blogs? Roboseyo doesn't disappoint with his top ten k-blog stories of 2009
So, where do most expats get their information in Korea? Obviously there are plenty of English language places, but these are the big ones:
general:
Korea Beat
Marmot's Hole
Roboseyo
ROK Drop
Brian in Jeollanamdo
daily life:
Galbijim
Korea4Expats
Midnight Runner podcast
Seoul podcast
English versions of Korean newspapers:
Korea Times
Korea Herald
Chosun Ilbo
Yonhap News
entertainment news:
Popseoul
Korean Film
Groove Magazine
history and culture:
Ask A Korean!
Gusts of Popular Feeling
A few places I would request people to avoid are Dave's ESL Cafe and any number of bloggers that seem pissed off at something. If it looks like rude, smells like rude, reads like rude, it is rude. I'd post links but the linkback feature will only attract more people to their havens of negativity and disrespect. Just say no.
Of course I would love to plug my own small archive of Korean culture tidbits but I have no illusions of superiority. My blogs are small and I like it that way. Gives me more room to write without worrying about what people think. For a study blog, I feel that's important.
A few places that I like but aren't big name can be found here. Also, a good place to find personal accounts of life here can be found at the Korean Blog List.
Hope this helps!
UPDATE: just getting into K-blogs? Roboseyo doesn't disappoint with his top ten k-blog stories of 2009
Some legalspeak for those interested in what legal ramifications come from an international marriage. What have I learned? 새미's last name doesn't change just because I'm American, most foreign spouses are Chinese and almost 15% of all marriages in Korea are considered to be international.
- International Marriage: Statistics and definition
- Legal Effects of International Marriage in Korea
On a related note, in that it is totally unrelated, we are in the midst of 'the ring' talk.
Rings. What do they symbolize in America? I'm no expert but a married man wears his wedding ring. Period. If you remove it it's because it's only for a brief time (such as showering, swimming, changing oil in a car, etc) or to do something elicit in which the other party doesn't know you're married. I'm not the latter.
However, rings are not that big of a deal for married folk here. It's been estimated that only 20% of Koreans actually regularly wear their ring. For example, all married people in my department don't wear their ring. Most common answer as to why they don't? "It's uncomfortable." my response? "is your marriage uncomfortable?" insert awkward silence.
I am attuned with Korean culture. I'm in no ways an expert but I'm comfortable with the majority of customs and culture of this wonderful country and its people. But I will wear my ring regularly. That's my American heritage and I'm not changing it for anything. A wedding ring is a symbol of commitment and I take it as a vow to respect and cherish her. The ring is a big deal to me.
But as it turns out, rings in Korea are generally, cheap. Inexpensive and low quality. I'm not bashing the entire market but after looking at about a dozen different ring shops, I'm starting to see a pattern - they all are junk.
Thankfully 새미 and I can agree on the design which is the hybrid gold/silver type. Prices are running upwards of 640 000원 for the pair (550 USD) which is not bad considering it's going to be with me for quite some time.
In addition to this, we're getting Catholic rings (묵주반지). I've also heard them called 'Rosary Rings' and 'Holy Rings'. Either way, most Catholics in Korea require them. They are generally inexpensive and easy to purchase but as Catholics are in the minority, the best one can do is order from a catalog. We've seen a few in real life but the choice selection in the order books is much more impressive. But you can't try them on beforehand. Also, cool-colored people like me who look better in silver are out of luck - most 묵주반지 are gold. Also, for those curious, the Catholic rings are worn on the index finger - not the ring finger. They are essentially roasaries-on-a-ring. Although I initially looked at them and throw up in my mouth at how gaudy they look, I realized that they are not to be thought of as fashion rings - rather as mobile material representatives of the commitment to live in a Christ-like marriage. In that case, ugly gold rings? Not that big of a deal. They represent more than just some bumps on the side of a hideous circle of melted gold.
Anyways, so that brings the total rings needed to four - no 'engagement ring' per se but two wedding bands and two Catholic rings for the both of us. Most "wedding bands" are actually referred to as "couple rings" which is just as cheesy as anything, so I insisted that we call them what they really are. Wedding rings.
I've graduated middle school. I don't need couple rings anymore.
So, when all rings are bought I'll be sure to update but until then, we're still looking. Apparently I'm a bit picky but like I told 새미, I think that's a compliment. If I were to hastily pick out the first ring I saw in a shop just because the salesperson was nice, what does that say about my choice in her? I carefully chose her and I will carefully choose a symbol of my commitment to her.
So just deal with my tantrums until then, yeah?
- International Marriage: Statistics and definition
- Legal Effects of International Marriage in Korea
On a related note, in that it is totally unrelated, we are in the midst of 'the ring' talk.
Rings. What do they symbolize in America? I'm no expert but a married man wears his wedding ring. Period. If you remove it it's because it's only for a brief time (such as showering, swimming, changing oil in a car, etc) or to do something elicit in which the other party doesn't know you're married. I'm not the latter.
However, rings are not that big of a deal for married folk here. It's been estimated that only 20% of Koreans actually regularly wear their ring. For example, all married people in my department don't wear their ring. Most common answer as to why they don't? "It's uncomfortable." my response? "is your marriage uncomfortable?" insert awkward silence.
I am attuned with Korean culture. I'm in no ways an expert but I'm comfortable with the majority of customs and culture of this wonderful country and its people. But I will wear my ring regularly. That's my American heritage and I'm not changing it for anything. A wedding ring is a symbol of commitment and I take it as a vow to respect and cherish her. The ring is a big deal to me.
But as it turns out, rings in Korea are generally, cheap. Inexpensive and low quality. I'm not bashing the entire market but after looking at about a dozen different ring shops, I'm starting to see a pattern - they all are junk.
Thankfully 새미 and I can agree on the design which is the hybrid gold/silver type. Prices are running upwards of 640 000원 for the pair (550 USD) which is not bad considering it's going to be with me for quite some time.
In addition to this, we're getting Catholic rings (묵주반지). I've also heard them called 'Rosary Rings' and 'Holy Rings'. Either way, most Catholics in Korea require them. They are generally inexpensive and easy to purchase but as Catholics are in the minority, the best one can do is order from a catalog. We've seen a few in real life but the choice selection in the order books is much more impressive. But you can't try them on beforehand. Also, cool-colored people like me who look better in silver are out of luck - most 묵주반지 are gold. Also, for those curious, the Catholic rings are worn on the index finger - not the ring finger. They are essentially roasaries-on-a-ring. Although I initially looked at them and throw up in my mouth at how gaudy they look, I realized that they are not to be thought of as fashion rings - rather as mobile material representatives of the commitment to live in a Christ-like marriage. In that case, ugly gold rings? Not that big of a deal. They represent more than just some bumps on the side of a hideous circle of melted gold.
Anyways, so that brings the total rings needed to four - no 'engagement ring' per se but two wedding bands and two Catholic rings for the both of us. Most "wedding bands" are actually referred to as "couple rings" which is just as cheesy as anything, so I insisted that we call them what they really are. Wedding rings.
I've graduated middle school. I don't need couple rings anymore.
So, when all rings are bought I'll be sure to update but until then, we're still looking. Apparently I'm a bit picky but like I told 새미, I think that's a compliment. If I were to hastily pick out the first ring I saw in a shop just because the salesperson was nice, what does that say about my choice in her? I carefully chose her and I will carefully choose a symbol of my commitment to her.
So just deal with my tantrums until then, yeah?
UPDATE: added commute information for those looking to attend services in 한남동. It's not the easiest to find without some help.
So when I talk to people about this whole wedding thing, I get a lot of different advice and tips. Ironically, most of them conflict with each other. Seems it's not just me asking questions and getting twenty different answers. Insert Matthew's head being scratched in confusion.
Seems my next step is to book a Pre-Cana class for the two of us. This is not the RCIA class that I intend on taking when I get the states. This is simply a short marriage prep class that is required for Catholics and non-Catholics alike. The problem is that we need it to be in English. Seems I need to understand what's actually going on. Imagine that. Anyways, I hope it is as fun as it claims to be. Then again, what's with all the documents?
It looks like finding an English speaking nun or priest to administer the Pre-Cana classes is difficult but not impossible in Seoul. In Hannam-dong (한남동) there is an International Catholic Church. (한남동 전주교회). Their website is lacking...but at least it's there.
Catholic International Parish of Seoul
Where: The Franciscan Chapel in Hannam-dong across from Hannam Village
Sunday English mass 9:00am and 11:00am
Sunday Italian and Spanish mass 12:00pm
Sunday German mass 10:00am
Saturday French mass 6:00pm
Phone Number: 02-793-2070
Here's how to get there. Take any taxi or bus that gets you to this bus stop:
순천향대학교병원 Soonchunyang University Hospital.
Seoul buses that stop there are as follows:
Blue buses: 407, 420, 470, 471, 472, 408, 110, 140, 142, 144, 402
Green buses: 6211
정류소번호 (ID) 03-162
Subway: I would recommend HangGangJin Line 6 (한강진 6호선) and walk along the fence for about ten minutes.
I have called and found out that a Sister Sue speaks fluent English and does these classes generally at no cost. She's available from around 9am-4pm on Saturdays so we will drop by then and schedule a weekend class with her. Score!
I've been to this 성당 before and although it isn't much to look at, it does have a nicely diverse community and seems quite friendly. It's a bit out of the way for me but for those near Itaewon (이태원) it's not a bad alternative to the 9am English Mass at 명동. Here's a list of other religious services in Korea.
It's Korea and I'm sure things are more difficult than they need to be. Only in Korea do you have to go through three different windows to get a pair of ice skating shoes so I imagine getting married will result in me doing several backflips in front of the embassy to prove my citizenship. Better get started.
Granted, I've read a decent amount on Japanese colonization, Three Kingdoms period and the modern Korean presidency but I know close to nothing about Korean weddings or the process of marriage in Korea. I'm learning as I go along. Backflips seem to be needed.
A lot of things are understandably different compared to American tradition and I am positive I'll post a comparative list when it's all said and done but for now, I'm just going to smile nicely and show up on the day of the wedding with my big boy clothes.
Now, as far as the American wedding and documents required for Saemi's citizenship, that's on me. I'm a great problem solver and I need to get started on how to get it all done. When it all seems too much and bit overwhelming, I just remember that almost 6,000 people get married in the states every day. Imagine how many people worldwide. If those schmucks can do it, so can I (why am I calling the world population a schmuck? what did the world do to me?)
I feel a bit logistically unprepared for it all. Not emotionally, but just the ins-and-outs of the process are daunting. For all the books I've read, I never picked up this one and I'm sad I didn't. The best I can do is listen to my future in-laws. Till then, Lee's Korean Blog gave a great breakdown of an Australian marrying a Korean. Thanks Lee for being so thorough. part 1, part 2, part 3.
Anyways, it looks like one of the first things that I'm noticing is that religious ceremonies in Korea don't create a legally-biding marriage. However, the official process doesn't seem too bad at all. The US Embassy even has a great little choose-your-own-adventure. Let's do it together!
Start here! Okay, so I chose get married in Korea, turn to page forty-seven. Okay, it looks like as an American, I need:
- my passport
- 90 USD
- two copies of Affidavit for Eligibility for Marriage, one notarized by U.S. Embassy
- three copies of Report and Certificate of Marriage, two notarized by U.S. Embassy, one to be left at ward office (구청)
- other information, advice (i.e. don't sign the papers until you are at the office, office closed wednesdays)
- procedure order (first embassy, then 구청, then back to embassy)
Wow, that's not as bad as I thought it would be. As a Korean, Saemi needs a few documents for her family registry. She'll also need a green card (LPR) for life in America. For that matter, getting her legal status in the states does not seem like it's going to be a walk in the park. A brief overview. Oh, ever wonder how much money it costs to become a legal permanent resident of America? 400 USD. I don't know what to think of it but it seems like such an obscure amount.
Anyways, I need to get cracking. To think, all this just for two people to socially and legally announce that they want to make babies together one day. Kind of unsettling but obviously worth it.
Granted, I've read a decent amount on Japanese colonization, Three Kingdoms period and the modern Korean presidency but I know close to nothing about Korean weddings or the process of marriage in Korea. I'm learning as I go along. Backflips seem to be needed.
A lot of things are understandably different compared to American tradition and I am positive I'll post a comparative list when it's all said and done but for now, I'm just going to smile nicely and show up on the day of the wedding with my big boy clothes.
Now, as far as the American wedding and documents required for Saemi's citizenship, that's on me. I'm a great problem solver and I need to get started on how to get it all done. When it all seems too much and bit overwhelming, I just remember that almost 6,000 people get married in the states every day. Imagine how many people worldwide. If those schmucks can do it, so can I (why am I calling the world population a schmuck? what did the world do to me?)
I feel a bit logistically unprepared for it all. Not emotionally, but just the ins-and-outs of the process are daunting. For all the books I've read, I never picked up this one and I'm sad I didn't. The best I can do is listen to my future in-laws. Till then, Lee's Korean Blog gave a great breakdown of an Australian marrying a Korean. Thanks Lee for being so thorough. part 1, part 2, part 3.
Anyways, it looks like one of the first things that I'm noticing is that religious ceremonies in Korea don't create a legally-biding marriage. However, the official process doesn't seem too bad at all. The US Embassy even has a great little choose-your-own-adventure. Let's do it together!
Start here! Okay, so I chose get married in Korea, turn to page forty-seven. Okay, it looks like as an American, I need:
- my passport
- 90 USD
- two copies of Affidavit for Eligibility for Marriage, one notarized by U.S. Embassy
- three copies of Report and Certificate of Marriage, two notarized by U.S. Embassy, one to be left at ward office (구청)
- other information, advice (i.e. don't sign the papers until you are at the office, office closed wednesdays)
- procedure order (first embassy, then 구청, then back to embassy)
Wow, that's not as bad as I thought it would be. As a Korean, Saemi needs a few documents for her family registry. She'll also need a green card (LPR) for life in America. For that matter, getting her legal status in the states does not seem like it's going to be a walk in the park. A brief overview. Oh, ever wonder how much money it costs to become a legal permanent resident of America? 400 USD. I don't know what to think of it but it seems like such an obscure amount.
Anyways, I need to get cracking. To think, all this just for two people to socially and legally announce that they want to make babies together one day. Kind of unsettling but obviously worth it.
This is a bit scary. Not the whole "picking the right spouse" part - that side of things was actually quite easy. I'm talking about the logistics of an international marriage and the religious aspect of it. As of this writing, I'm an American male who is Buddhist. Kind of. My fiance is a Korean female who is Catholic. Really.
What does that mean for me? Even a cursory knowledge of Catholicism lets me know a few things about how Catholics do marriage. It's a big deal, it's never outside and only Catholics can marry other Catholics. Well, not exactly. All that plus ritualized confession, the Pope, and those nasty scandals. Yep.
My predicament? I'm torn. A bit of my history to understand why. I was raised in the Methodist church by devoted Methodist parents. This upbringing taught me more than just a few songs and how to drink grape juice once a month. Regular sunday school, in retrospect, taught me morals. That's a huge thing. When I was in junior high, I changed attendance to a hellfire-and-brimstone Baptist church. This sparked a lot of passion in me but ultimately left me disillusioned and disappointed in Christianity for all its loopholes, contradictions, double standards, historical wars, discrimination and attitude towards homosexuality. I had enough of what God had to say about how awful of a person I was. I then went through a transition period and found myself eventually curious about Buddhism in junior college. I converted philosophically but resisted a lot of the religious aspects for comfort reasons. I saw no point in sitting in a mediation hall when I can meditate on my own at my leisure. This formed one of the foundations of my adult identity. No longer was I torn about pick-and-choose Christianity. I was no longer affiliated with a church that fundamentally looks down upon Man as some sort of failed experiment, imperfect doomed to fail from the get-go. I could now worship no one (as Buddhists don't worship Buddha, just to throw that out there) and attend any religious service I deemed suitable for my spiritual journey. So, I attended church with my parents on occasion and enjoyed it. I liked talking religion when given the opportunity. Then, I go and mess everything up by falling in love with a Catholic.
Gone are my free spirit days of "there's no such thing as divine intervention, miracles, predetermined destiny (aka God's plan), heaven, hell, purgatory, original sin, prayer and an omnipotent being whole created life and governs life as we know it." Gone. Now, I'm torn. What if God made Saemi just for me? What if He had all this planned all along? The idea of not having control over my own destiny is a bit unsettling.
However, because of my love for Saemi, I am more than willing to entertain the idea that my life is possibly more than just what I think it is. Maybe it's bigger than me. Maybe it's been God all along. Maybe I'm not perfect. Maybe through Catholicism life means more. Maybe.
I've been going to a lot of Mass since we met and although I have pretty much no clue what's going on in terms of language (seeing as how it's in Korean) I have been reading about the history of Catholicism in Korea and have been following along with a few small guides. To her credit, Saemi has been doing her best to explain things to me in English as well as find the appropriate passage in my little book. This helps me to read along. The songs, thankfully, are familiar and the overall concept of recitation of beliefs and sacred communion is not that much different than the Methodist church. So, maybe life as a Catholic will not just be "not that bad" but maybe it will be better than I had imagined.
But, I don't want to be that guy. I don't want to be a guy that goes through religious like a new pair of boxers - throw it away when it has served it's purpose. I may be a blasphemous buffet spiritualist but I'm respectful enough to know that the Catholic church places a huge amount of importance on conversion. It's genuinely a life-changing commitment that permeates one's life and lasts long after one is gone. Not a small decision by any stretch of the imagination. I need to think about that.
So, to convert to just marry? That's not me. Convert to change my life? that's a strong possibility. I just don't want to be pushed. Thankfully, Saemi has never once said that I have to convert. She is wise enough to know that it's a personal decision and one that must be made without coercion. Sure, there's some underlining pressure from her parents simply because they have something wonderful that has enriched their lives that they want to share with their future son-in-law. No one can fault them for that. But, they too, are allowing me the freedom to convert on my own. For this, I'm thankful.
And marriage? That's a whole nother post...But a short history: My parents set incredibly good examples of what a married couple is - a team. They were and still are inseparable in terms of making decisions as a team. They are faithful to each other, don't raise their voices at each other (although my dad has a knack for finding new and innovated ways of being annoying). Furthermore, they demonstrated a genuine care and concern not only for each other as a couple but as parents. I can't thank them enough. I got it good and I know it. Love you guys.
I only hope that I can set a similar example for my children one day. I want them to cherish marriage as a permanent reality and to respect the upbringing they receive as one of the ways we provide for them. Needless to say, them kids are going to be some cute little halvsie Catholics.
What does that mean for me? Even a cursory knowledge of Catholicism lets me know a few things about how Catholics do marriage. It's a big deal, it's never outside and only Catholics can marry other Catholics. Well, not exactly. All that plus ritualized confession, the Pope, and those nasty scandals. Yep.
My predicament? I'm torn. A bit of my history to understand why. I was raised in the Methodist church by devoted Methodist parents. This upbringing taught me more than just a few songs and how to drink grape juice once a month. Regular sunday school, in retrospect, taught me morals. That's a huge thing. When I was in junior high, I changed attendance to a hellfire-and-brimstone Baptist church. This sparked a lot of passion in me but ultimately left me disillusioned and disappointed in Christianity for all its loopholes, contradictions, double standards, historical wars, discrimination and attitude towards homosexuality. I had enough of what God had to say about how awful of a person I was. I then went through a transition period and found myself eventually curious about Buddhism in junior college. I converted philosophically but resisted a lot of the religious aspects for comfort reasons. I saw no point in sitting in a mediation hall when I can meditate on my own at my leisure. This formed one of the foundations of my adult identity. No longer was I torn about pick-and-choose Christianity. I was no longer affiliated with a church that fundamentally looks down upon Man as some sort of failed experiment, imperfect doomed to fail from the get-go. I could now worship no one (as Buddhists don't worship Buddha, just to throw that out there) and attend any religious service I deemed suitable for my spiritual journey. So, I attended church with my parents on occasion and enjoyed it. I liked talking religion when given the opportunity. Then, I go and mess everything up by falling in love with a Catholic.
Gone are my free spirit days of "there's no such thing as divine intervention, miracles, predetermined destiny (aka God's plan), heaven, hell, purgatory, original sin, prayer and an omnipotent being whole created life and governs life as we know it." Gone. Now, I'm torn. What if God made Saemi just for me? What if He had all this planned all along? The idea of not having control over my own destiny is a bit unsettling.
However, because of my love for Saemi, I am more than willing to entertain the idea that my life is possibly more than just what I think it is. Maybe it's bigger than me. Maybe it's been God all along. Maybe I'm not perfect. Maybe through Catholicism life means more. Maybe.
I've been going to a lot of Mass since we met and although I have pretty much no clue what's going on in terms of language (seeing as how it's in Korean) I have been reading about the history of Catholicism in Korea and have been following along with a few small guides. To her credit, Saemi has been doing her best to explain things to me in English as well as find the appropriate passage in my little book. This helps me to read along. The songs, thankfully, are familiar and the overall concept of recitation of beliefs and sacred communion is not that much different than the Methodist church. So, maybe life as a Catholic will not just be "not that bad" but maybe it will be better than I had imagined.
But, I don't want to be that guy. I don't want to be a guy that goes through religious like a new pair of boxers - throw it away when it has served it's purpose. I may be a blasphemous buffet spiritualist but I'm respectful enough to know that the Catholic church places a huge amount of importance on conversion. It's genuinely a life-changing commitment that permeates one's life and lasts long after one is gone. Not a small decision by any stretch of the imagination. I need to think about that.
So, to convert to just marry? That's not me. Convert to change my life? that's a strong possibility. I just don't want to be pushed. Thankfully, Saemi has never once said that I have to convert. She is wise enough to know that it's a personal decision and one that must be made without coercion. Sure, there's some underlining pressure from her parents simply because they have something wonderful that has enriched their lives that they want to share with their future son-in-law. No one can fault them for that. But, they too, are allowing me the freedom to convert on my own. For this, I'm thankful.
And marriage? That's a whole nother post...But a short history: My parents set incredibly good examples of what a married couple is - a team. They were and still are inseparable in terms of making decisions as a team. They are faithful to each other, don't raise their voices at each other (although my dad has a knack for finding new and innovated ways of being annoying). Furthermore, they demonstrated a genuine care and concern not only for each other as a couple but as parents. I can't thank them enough. I got it good and I know it. Love you guys.
I only hope that I can set a similar example for my children one day. I want them to cherish marriage as a permanent reality and to respect the upbringing they receive as one of the ways we provide for them. Needless to say, them kids are going to be some cute little halvsie Catholics.
For some reason I've seen a lot of Korean videos recently. Well, not exactly. They aren't from Korea but they are about Korea or Asia in some way. Just wanted to share them:
Gochu (고추) a very well parodied Korean drama. One of my favorites. Part of the humor comes from a slang term for the male reproductive organ in Korean. it's pepper (고추).
Tech Support - a South Korean tech support with a knack for American accents.
I'll Eat you Up Pork Buns - this is a parody of BoA's I'll Eat you Up. Cute play on words for a song I like.
Korean Baseball Fight - a real baseball fight - 닭싸움 style
Innocent Childhood Racism - at it's finest. Where is this kid now?
Yellow Fever - an oldie from Wong Fu Productions about why Asian women love white guys
Bobby Lee's Korean Drama parody - another oldie from MadTV but still so perfect (part two) (part three)
I want Asians - a NSFW look at why Asian women won't slept with this guy
Gochu (고추) a very well parodied Korean drama. One of my favorites. Part of the humor comes from a slang term for the male reproductive organ in Korean. it's pepper (고추).
Tech Support - a South Korean tech support with a knack for American accents.
I'll Eat you Up Pork Buns - this is a parody of BoA's I'll Eat you Up. Cute play on words for a song I like.
Korean Baseball Fight - a real baseball fight - 닭싸움 style
Innocent Childhood Racism - at it's finest. Where is this kid now?
Yellow Fever - an oldie from Wong Fu Productions about why Asian women love white guys
Bobby Lee's Korean Drama parody - another oldie from MadTV but still so perfect (part two) (part three)
I want Asians - a NSFW look at why Asian women won't slept with this guy
So it was Christmas in Korea. Yes, it's nasty cold. It's snowy. It wasn't lonely. It was a bit stressful and tiring but it was also incredible beyond words. As much as I would love to cherish a play by play, the four days we spent in 춘천 might be a bit much for me to write. Suffice it to say we did a lot, saw a lot, a made a lot of memories.
Highlights include:
Then, out the blue, 새미's dad just says "알았어. 결혼해" ("Okay. Go get married")
Shocking to say the least. This is coming from a very conservative 부산 man who is under-spoken and quite reserved. Hell, I was convinced he didn't like me despite 새미's assurance that he had actually been showing his nice side to me all the while.
Anyways, we immediately sat up straight in respect and I bowed whilst sitting and shook his hand. I thanked him while I held back the widest grin ever. 새미 immediately started crying and was just overall caught off guard. Here we were talking about the health benefits from potatoes or something and then we were talking about what month would be good and how I could get my family here in Korea for the ceremony.
Best Christmas gift ever. I hadn't expected the approval until at least another year. So now it seems that we might be coming back to Texas around August. The plans are still being worked out but all we know is that we are incredibly happy and can't wait for what's ahead.
If we were to plan ideally, I would teach to pay off the student loan debt, and 새미 would start grad school in the states. When she finishes a few years later, I would start grad school. By that time, most of my debt would have been taken care of (but certainly not all of it) but at least enough to live a bit more comfortably.
Anyways, the best part is that we got the approval and are going to do it right. I feel a bit old in terms of starting a family but this is a time in my life that I'm actually ready to get married.
Okay stop gushing. Done.
Highlights include:
- a Christmas day classical music concert which was lovely
- more Mass than I can count
- good food from 새미's mom
- Seriously, a lot of Mass
- the family dog being nice to only me
- not understanding the insanely hard Korean going on around me
- junk food from 새미's mom which is a huge oddity
- and the best Christmas gift ever. This deserves a description
Then, out the blue, 새미's dad just says "알았어. 결혼해" ("Okay. Go get married")
Shocking to say the least. This is coming from a very conservative 부산 man who is under-spoken and quite reserved. Hell, I was convinced he didn't like me despite 새미's assurance that he had actually been showing his nice side to me all the while.
Anyways, we immediately sat up straight in respect and I bowed whilst sitting and shook his hand. I thanked him while I held back the widest grin ever. 새미 immediately started crying and was just overall caught off guard. Here we were talking about the health benefits from potatoes or something and then we were talking about what month would be good and how I could get my family here in Korea for the ceremony.
Best Christmas gift ever. I hadn't expected the approval until at least another year. So now it seems that we might be coming back to Texas around August. The plans are still being worked out but all we know is that we are incredibly happy and can't wait for what's ahead.
If we were to plan ideally, I would teach to pay off the student loan debt, and 새미 would start grad school in the states. When she finishes a few years later, I would start grad school. By that time, most of my debt would have been taken care of (but certainly not all of it) but at least enough to live a bit more comfortably.
Anyways, the best part is that we got the approval and are going to do it right. I feel a bit old in terms of starting a family but this is a time in my life that I'm actually ready to get married.
Okay stop gushing. Done.
Not much to say other than I'm glad that people who played video games as a kid grew up to do funny stuff like this. Once Upon A Pixel has done a fine job. My favorite? Silent Hill 2 all the way.
Katamari Damacy - What if this cutsy 2004 PS2 puzzle game was actually a film noire comic book?
Silent Hill 2 - What if this horrifying 2001 PS2 title was actually an 80s sitcom?
Metal Gear Solid - What if this 1998 PS1 classic tactical espinage title was actually a fairy tale?
Bioshock - What if this epic 2007 twist ending first person shooter was actually a bedtime story?
Katamari Damacy - What if this cutsy 2004 PS2 puzzle game was actually a film noire comic book?
Silent Hill 2 - What if this horrifying 2001 PS2 title was actually an 80s sitcom?
Metal Gear Solid - What if this 1998 PS1 classic tactical espinage title was actually a fairy tale?
Bioshock - What if this epic 2007 twist ending first person shooter was actually a bedtime story?
As previously written, Christmas is quite a different beast in the land of the morning calm. I've been warned of immense cold weather and even more immense loneliness. Only one has afflicted me.
It's cold. I can't stress that enough. It's crazy cold and it isn't even January yet. I can't imagine what February will be like. I'd rather not think about it. So my mom has sent about a million gifts from home further making me feel like a kid again but in a good way. My parents sent one gift for every day in December all the way up to Christmas. Each day was a new discovery as "what could they possibly send this time?" ran through my mind each time I opened a slightly more strange gift each time. The highlights? A box of tissue from H.E.B., one shoe (and a few weeks later, the second shoe), fifty year old pyrex-style glass tupperware, American cereal box sampler, advertisements from the Killeen Daily Herald newspaper and of course the always delicious and stomach filling Grandma-made cookies with more ingredients to name. Well eaten and well made. Thanks grandma for making the most popular teacher on campus.
In other news, I start vacation tomorrow. But, I've kind of been on it already. Here's what I mean. December, January, and February's vacation schedule for your viewing pleasure. On the days I still come to school, I just sit at my desk studying Korean for eight hours. Korean efficiency at work. I'm not complaining. If they want to pay me to sit at a desk, pay away. On the other side of what has been warned, I have not been lonely the least bit. I contribute this to 새미's nagging, her parents' concern, my classes at Ewha, the friends I made there, the self studying, the new blogs and the constant stream of history books that I have been burning through. I'm a busy bee and I love it here.
Speaking of which, the blogs are already blossoming into what I wanted - I place to develop my interests. They have inspired me to continue doing what I do and studying what I want to study on my own. I would say that I sincerely hope that I keep up the blogs but honestly, they've already mutated into something that is out of my control now. Must. Update. Regularly.
I've been calling home via skype and I must say that it is nasty cheap. The term "skye" is common enough but I didn't exactly understand how it all works. I've used skype on my computer to other computers using voice only and/or video for free, but what I didn't know is how cheap it is to call an American land line from my computer. It's literally 2 cents a minute. I can call home with a crystal clear quality voice call to home for so cheap that we don't have to worry about talking for only a short while. It's been very convenient and I'm sure my family has enjoyed the calls (at six in the morning).
I made a milestone today. I paid my first student loan payment. A whopping 250 bucks. As it turns out, parents are kind gentle creatures who help out their kids once and a while. They helped pay off loans that they cosigned which dropped my 71,000 USD debt down to a much more manageable 50,000 USD debt. Look it's still horrific, sure, but I got approved to postpone the payments of the Stafford loans for at least one year and the private loans got approved for interest only payments for four years. A temporary solution, sure, but at least for the moment I can breathe.
As I type this, the rest of the school is going on a trip to a small island off the coast of 인천. I want to go but I have prior engagements.
Speaking of engagements, 새미 and I have been discussing the whole future thing in detail and I must say that although I'm a bit scared of the whole "enough money to eat" thing, I'm happy that we are able to talk about it freely and have room for compromise. There are a few longterm options that we've talked about but I want to hammer them out a little more before I post them on the world wide web.
However, I can say that once March comes around, this guy will be attending Ewha again. I need to register by February 24th. Class 303 will be owned.
Anyways, subject change: my students are super cute. They come by my office every day and bug me for candy or anything else they can get their hands on. I'm pretty sure it makes my coworkers uncomfortable how often they come by but I love how precious they are. Some of them even gave me Christmas cards written in English. Priceless.
Lastly, one of my coworkers gave me a Christmas gift - two Hanja books. How thoughtful? She's one of the "students" in the teacher English class. Mrs Kwon - you're super nice.
Merry Christmas.
It's cold. I can't stress that enough. It's crazy cold and it isn't even January yet. I can't imagine what February will be like. I'd rather not think about it. So my mom has sent about a million gifts from home further making me feel like a kid again but in a good way. My parents sent one gift for every day in December all the way up to Christmas. Each day was a new discovery as "what could they possibly send this time?" ran through my mind each time I opened a slightly more strange gift each time. The highlights? A box of tissue from H.E.B., one shoe (and a few weeks later, the second shoe), fifty year old pyrex-style glass tupperware, American cereal box sampler, advertisements from the Killeen Daily Herald newspaper and of course the always delicious and stomach filling Grandma-made cookies with more ingredients to name. Well eaten and well made. Thanks grandma for making the most popular teacher on campus.
In other news, I start vacation tomorrow. But, I've kind of been on it already. Here's what I mean. December, January, and February's vacation schedule for your viewing pleasure. On the days I still come to school, I just sit at my desk studying Korean for eight hours. Korean efficiency at work. I'm not complaining. If they want to pay me to sit at a desk, pay away. On the other side of what has been warned, I have not been lonely the least bit. I contribute this to 새미's nagging, her parents' concern, my classes at Ewha, the friends I made there, the self studying, the new blogs and the constant stream of history books that I have been burning through. I'm a busy bee and I love it here.
Speaking of which, the blogs are already blossoming into what I wanted - I place to develop my interests. They have inspired me to continue doing what I do and studying what I want to study on my own. I would say that I sincerely hope that I keep up the blogs but honestly, they've already mutated into something that is out of my control now. Must. Update. Regularly.
I've been calling home via skype and I must say that it is nasty cheap. The term "skye" is common enough but I didn't exactly understand how it all works. I've used skype on my computer to other computers using voice only and/or video for free, but what I didn't know is how cheap it is to call an American land line from my computer. It's literally 2 cents a minute. I can call home with a crystal clear quality voice call to home for so cheap that we don't have to worry about talking for only a short while. It's been very convenient and I'm sure my family has enjoyed the calls (at six in the morning).
I made a milestone today. I paid my first student loan payment. A whopping 250 bucks. As it turns out, parents are kind gentle creatures who help out their kids once and a while. They helped pay off loans that they cosigned which dropped my 71,000 USD debt down to a much more manageable 50,000 USD debt. Look it's still horrific, sure, but I got approved to postpone the payments of the Stafford loans for at least one year and the private loans got approved for interest only payments for four years. A temporary solution, sure, but at least for the moment I can breathe.
As I type this, the rest of the school is going on a trip to a small island off the coast of 인천. I want to go but I have prior engagements.
Speaking of engagements, 새미 and I have been discussing the whole future thing in detail and I must say that although I'm a bit scared of the whole "enough money to eat" thing, I'm happy that we are able to talk about it freely and have room for compromise. There are a few longterm options that we've talked about but I want to hammer them out a little more before I post them on the world wide web.
However, I can say that once March comes around, this guy will be attending Ewha again. I need to register by February 24th. Class 303 will be owned.
| 2010 Spring | 2010.3.10(Wed)~2010.5.19(Wed) |
Lastly, one of my coworkers gave me a Christmas gift - two Hanja books. How thoughtful? She's one of the "students" in the teacher English class. Mrs Kwon - you're super nice.
Merry Christmas.
It's hard not to compare oneself with someone else in a similar but ultimately more desirable situation. It's practically human nature.
I've been thinking about the past recently. I went through and cleaned up my email folders and such. I deleted old messages from a few years ago but the majority of them were leftover from my last big cleaning from about a year and a half ago. But, I still had some emails of my two month stay in Korea last year (July-August 2008). I was amazed at my level of Korean and how low it was. In addition, I had virtually no basic knowledge of Korean history whatsoever.
I am utterly baffled at the rate at which people change and grow. I'm no special flower that has had an especially nurtured last year and a half but goodness gracious I have learned a lot. I've created no less than three three websites with the focus on Korea on some form or fashion. I've actually done a lot now that I think about it. I've changed my personal life substantially, graduated university, had a roommate, spent some quality time with my family, moved to Korea, took an intensive class and a night class, got a job teaching in Korea, and met an incredible woman. All the while, I read well over twenty books on my future home which have certainly made things more comfortable for life here. For that matter, the language has been something that I can't really self-gauge well.
Saemi said something yesterday in an email that got me thinking just how much I have learned since I first came here July 31 - let alone since last July (2008). I assume she feels that I have learned a whole boatload of new stuff since coming here. She would know best seeing as how I had to speak a lot of English to her when we first met and although we clearly speak mostly English still, our conversations are becoming more and more Korean. Granted it's only bit by bit, but certainly changing. At this rate, I'll completely forget the English language in ten years (joking, Mom)
Anyways, I ran across an old abandoned blog of a British guy who lived in Korea back in 2005. His blog was not especially meaningful but it had some higher level Korean language in it. He even posted some great tips and translations.
I also ran across Austin's youtube channel. Austin is a guy that studied at KC101 when it first started up. He had a blog there, too for a while. Austin was always a few steps ahead of me in all terms - graduated college before me, started learning Korean before me, became fluent before I did, and left Korea before I did. I've never met the guy but we have skyped once and emailed a few times.
Anyways, I bring it up because the British guy and Austin both have left an impression on me: they are both better than me in terms of language.
Should that matter? No, but it of course makes me jealous. I've been studying for two and half years and I'm still not a language rock star. What gives?
Anyways, the point I'm trying to make is that I have already accomplished a lot that I set out to do. I am able to speak to Saemi's father in Korean. Since he doesn't speak English, I have to. Granted, my conversations are earth-shatteringly awesome but they do get the job done. That alone is a huge accomplishment from a guy who couldn't even tell time 1.5 years ago. Not bad. All those wasted nights studying in Denton are starting to pay off.
When it all boils down to it, the grass will always be greener on the other side of the fence. Nice guys like Austin will always be there to piss me off with their linguistic awesomeness. But then again, I'm sure there's some poor sap who looks at me and wonders how can he eat his Awesome-Os and be like Matthew.
Poor guy.
Anyways, I hope I am like my parents in the respect that I will see myself as a constant learner - always a student. I hope I'm never too proud to look at what I have as enough. I want to always look to the future and wonder 'what can I learn from this' or 'what else is out there for me?'
Thanks mom and dad for making me obsessively study. You've ruined Friday nights for the rest of my life. I'm at home studying right now when I should be getting plastered with my fellow foreign brethren. Oh well. guess I'll just back to hitting the books instead. Not that I'm complaining.
I've been thinking about the past recently. I went through and cleaned up my email folders and such. I deleted old messages from a few years ago but the majority of them were leftover from my last big cleaning from about a year and a half ago. But, I still had some emails of my two month stay in Korea last year (July-August 2008). I was amazed at my level of Korean and how low it was. In addition, I had virtually no basic knowledge of Korean history whatsoever.
I am utterly baffled at the rate at which people change and grow. I'm no special flower that has had an especially nurtured last year and a half but goodness gracious I have learned a lot. I've created no less than three three websites with the focus on Korea on some form or fashion. I've actually done a lot now that I think about it. I've changed my personal life substantially, graduated university, had a roommate, spent some quality time with my family, moved to Korea, took an intensive class and a night class, got a job teaching in Korea, and met an incredible woman. All the while, I read well over twenty books on my future home which have certainly made things more comfortable for life here. For that matter, the language has been something that I can't really self-gauge well.
Saemi said something yesterday in an email that got me thinking just how much I have learned since I first came here July 31 - let alone since last July (2008). I assume she feels that I have learned a whole boatload of new stuff since coming here. She would know best seeing as how I had to speak a lot of English to her when we first met and although we clearly speak mostly English still, our conversations are becoming more and more Korean. Granted it's only bit by bit, but certainly changing. At this rate, I'll completely forget the English language in ten years (joking, Mom)
Anyways, I ran across an old abandoned blog of a British guy who lived in Korea back in 2005. His blog was not especially meaningful but it had some higher level Korean language in it. He even posted some great tips and translations.
I also ran across Austin's youtube channel. Austin is a guy that studied at KC101 when it first started up. He had a blog there, too for a while. Austin was always a few steps ahead of me in all terms - graduated college before me, started learning Korean before me, became fluent before I did, and left Korea before I did. I've never met the guy but we have skyped once and emailed a few times.
Anyways, I bring it up because the British guy and Austin both have left an impression on me: they are both better than me in terms of language.
Should that matter? No, but it of course makes me jealous. I've been studying for two and half years and I'm still not a language rock star. What gives?
Anyways, the point I'm trying to make is that I have already accomplished a lot that I set out to do. I am able to speak to Saemi's father in Korean. Since he doesn't speak English, I have to. Granted, my conversations are earth-shatteringly awesome but they do get the job done. That alone is a huge accomplishment from a guy who couldn't even tell time 1.5 years ago. Not bad. All those wasted nights studying in Denton are starting to pay off.
When it all boils down to it, the grass will always be greener on the other side of the fence. Nice guys like Austin will always be there to piss me off with their linguistic awesomeness. But then again, I'm sure there's some poor sap who looks at me and wonders how can he eat his Awesome-Os and be like Matthew.
Poor guy.
Anyways, I hope I am like my parents in the respect that I will see myself as a constant learner - always a student. I hope I'm never too proud to look at what I have as enough. I want to always look to the future and wonder 'what can I learn from this' or 'what else is out there for me?'
Thanks mom and dad for making me obsessively study. You've ruined Friday nights for the rest of my life. I'm at home studying right now when I should be getting plastered with my fellow foreign brethren. Oh well. guess I'll just back to hitting the books instead. Not that I'm complaining.
I was a choir boy. I sung in middle, high school and then in college. I can't carry a tune but I appreciate a good vocalist in any genre. People who are genuinely skilled at their craft and who can demonstrate a superb sense of control and expression...well, that makes me smile. I like Korean pop music. There are a few singers that I really like and I'd like to share them. So, from top to bottom:
Honorable Mentions:
- 알렉스 (Alex) - the male vocalist of one of my absolute favorite groups 클래지콰이 (Clazziquai). He's simply a brilliantly talented singer. I love how composed he is; never overdone and completely in control of his range and timbre. A smooth singer by all standards. Notable samples include:
- 알렉스 - 너무 아픈 이말 (w/ 지선)
- 알렉스 - 화분 (originally by 러브홀릭)
- 알렉스 - 데이지
- 클래지콰이 - Again..
- 클래지콰이 - Tell yourself
- 클래지콰이 - Color Your Soul
- 클래지콰이 - Gentle Giant
- 클래지콰이 - Be My Love
- 비즈니즈 - 너의 소식 (So Sick) (Feat. 알렉스)
- 지선 (formerly of 러브홀릭) - when Jisun departed Loveholic, I about fainted. How come someone with this beautifully crafted voice leave a perfect place to hone her creativity? Thankfully, life continued when she released a solo project which did not disappoint. Jisun has a vocal presence that is both relaxing and exciting. Her composition skills are more than enough to be a successful artist but she has to go all out and be an amazing singer, too. I'm a big fan of her work.
- 지선 - 롤러코스터러브 (Roller Coaster)
- 지선 - Windflower (featuring Alex)
- 지선 - 그는 널 사랑하지 않아
- 지선 - 어떡하죠
- 러브홀릭 - Maria (live)
- 러브홀릭 - 녹슨열쇠 (Rusty Key)
- 러브홀릭 - Butterfly
- 러브홀릭 - Sad Story
- 러브홀릭 - 그대만 있다면 (어느 멋진 날)
- 러브홀릭 - 이별 못한 이별 (내 이름은 김삼순)
- 러브홀릭 - Want You Hear (하나와 앨리스)
- 러브홀릭 - Rainy Day (기동무투전G건담)
- 러브홀릭 - 일요일 맑음 (가족의 탄생)
- 러브홀릭 - 나의 태양은 지고..
- 빅뱅 (Big Bang) - Easily one of the most popular groups in Korea, this handpicked and groomed boy band has a unique appeal that isn't found in other pop groups. Their focus is on bubblegum hip hop. Two of the members G-Dragon and TOP are respectable rappers in their own right which balances nicely against 승리 and 대성's versatile voices; not to mention 태양's smooth R & B voice. All are decent dancers are have put on some incredibly entertaining shows. in addition, just about all of them have solo careers and acting gigs on the side. Combine that with a great sense of humor about themselves and you have a very entertaining pop group.
- 빅뱅 - 하루하루 (Acoustic)
- 빅뱅 - How Gee
- 빅뱅 - GARA GARA GO (Korean version)
- 빅뱅 - 뷹은 노을 (Sunset Glow)
- 빅뱅 - 반짝반짝 (Sparkling Sparkling)
- 빅뱅 - Hallelujah (IRIS OST)
- 빅뱅 - Strong Baby
- 빅뱅 - Always
- TOP & 태양 - 친구
- 태양 - 나만 바라봐
- 태양 - Make Love (featuring Kush)
- G-Dragon - Heartbreaker
- G-Dragon - Korean Dream
- 호란 (Horan) and Christina of Clazziquai - 호란's style is enough for me to mention. A beautiful women in her own right, her fashion and creative style are quite dynamic without going too over-the-top. Her voice is one sugary sweet sound after another. Like her counterpart in Clazziquai, her English is passable for a singer and as such, she's recorded some beautiful English language music. I must confess though that I have trouble distinguishing her voice from Alex's little sister Christina, whom frequently guest sings for Clazziquai. Therefore, possibly some of the credit goes to Christina, too.
- 클래지콰이 - Loverboy
- 클래지콰이 - Love Mode (featuring Tablo)
- 클래지콰이 - Tell Yourself
- 클래지콰이 - Take a Walk
- 클래지콰이 - Wizard of Oz
- 클래지콰이 - I will you give you everything
- 클래지콰이 - Cry out loud
- 클래지콰이 - Sweety
- 클래지콰이 - I will never cry
- 클래지콰이 - Cat Bossa
- 클래지콰이 - Fiesta (DAISHI DANCE remix)
- 클래지콰이 - After Love (Female version)
- 슈퍼주니어 (Super Junior) - A boy band. Sorry guys but I dig them. A thirteen member boy band, each member has their own unique talent that serves the group in some way. One guy is a comedian, another guy rap, a couple can dance well, and some are talented singers. There's not much to say other than they are typically only liked by teeny boppers but for me, the production value of their songs, dance choreography and overall stage presence is more than enough for me to get their songs stuck in my head.
- 슈퍼주니어 - Sorry Sorry
- 슈퍼주니어 - So I
- 슈퍼주니어 - 행복
- 슈퍼주니어 - You are the one
- 슈퍼주니어 - 니가 좋은 이유 (Why I like you)
- 슈퍼주니어 - 갈증 A man in love (Remix version)
- 슈퍼주니어 - Reset
- 슈퍼주니어 - You're my endless love (말하자면)
- 슈퍼주니어 - 아주 먼 옛날 (Song for you)
- 슈퍼주니어 엠 - SuperGirl (Chinese version)
- 슈퍼주니어 엠 - Me (Korean version)
- 슈퍼주니어 해피 - 요리황
- 슈퍼주니어 트러트 - 첫차
- Tablo & Mithra of 에픽하이 (Epik High) - I'm normally not a huge fan of rap or hip hop but because of my interest in the korean language and pop music in general, I can appreciate a few hip hop artists. They tend to be a bit more commercial and less "real" hip hop but I really don't care that much. This three piece group is fronted by two exceptionally talented artists Tablo and Mithra. Both of them are talented
- 에픽하이 - Fan
- 에픽하이 - Love Love Love
- 에픽하이 - Mithra's Word
- 에픽하이 - Breakdown
- 에픽하이 - One
- 에픽하이 - 우산 (Umbrella) (featuring 윤하)
- 에픽하이 - the entire album of Remixing the Human Soul
- 클래지콰이 - Love Mode (featuring Tablo)
- 캐스커 (Casker) - a relatively obscure electronica group, although they have produced some notable commercial tracks, they are largely unknown outside (and inside for that matter) Korea. I really get into the jazz influenced electronic fusion style that they do so well. Some of the best ambient music available in my opinion.
- 캐스커 - Sweet
- 캐스커 - Tango toy
- 캐스커 - 7월의 이파네마소녀
- 캐스커 - Soul:Free
- 캐스커 - 정전기
- 캐스커 - Night People
- 캐스커 - 나비부인
- 캐스커 - 모든 토요일
- 캐스커 - 가면
- 윤하 (Yoonha) - as a struggling artist she tried desperately to debut in the always competitive Korean pop scene but after countless rejections, she honed her Japanese language skills and debuted in Japan. She would then later receive a sizeable fan base back in Korea after which she returned and remains a Korean pop star. Her hook is the fact that she writes most of her music and plays the piano. Oh and she's cute as a button, too.
- 윤하 - Gossip Boy
- 윤하 - 기억 (feat.타블로) - Rap Mix ver.
- 윤하 - Strawberry Days
- 윤하 - Houki Boshi (Japanese version)
- 윤하 - Peace, Love & Ice Cream
- 윤하 - 비밀번호 486 (Password 486)
- 윤하 - Delete
- 윤하 - 어린욕심 feat. 휘성
- 소녀시대 (Girl's Generation) - a nine girl member girl group, 소녀시대 has the same basic appeal as Super Junior - but instead of different talents to differentiate each member, the girls have their own style. One is cute, another is sexy, another is tall, another is pretty and all have had plastic surgery. Despite this, I like some of their music and even a few of them can actually sing. More than that though, their songs and dance choreography are infectious.
- 소녀시대 - 소원을 말해봐 (Genie)
- 소녀시대 - Gee
- 소녀시대 - Kissing You
- 소녀시대 - 다시 만난 세계 (Into the New World)
- 소녀시대 - 힘내
- 소녀시대 - Hahaha (Long Version)
- 2NE1 - This recently debuted girl group was designed to be the female Big Bang. The title is deserving as their debut was widely hyped and worth the wait. They have an all-too-unique style and strikingly dynamic personalities that complement each other well. It goes without saying that their music is well-written and entirely too catchy. All members have had a least one or two solo songs and endorsements that seem to be doing well. All in all, they are fun to listen to.
- 빅뱅 & 2NE1 - Lollipop
- 박봄 - You and I
- 2NE1 - I don't care (reggae version)
- 2NE1 - Fire
- 2NE1 - Let's Go Party
Honorable Mentions:
- 티맥스 (T-max) - They aren't the most popular group but they have certainly made a few songs that are catchy. Their call to fame was one of the three members (and promptly returned) after filming 꽃보다남자 (Boys Over Flowers) one of the most popular Korean dramas to date.
- 나쁜 마음을 먹게해 (Bad Heart) [Ballad ver.]
- 나쁜 마음을 먹게해 (Bad Heart) [Dance ver.]
- Say Yes
- 이승천 (Lee Seung Chul) - A great singer with a distinctive Korean folk ballad style about him. One of the few ballad singers that has enjoyed success by both younger and older audiences.
- 소리쳐
- 사랑 참 어렵다
- 브라운 아이드 걸스 (Brown Eyed Girls) - a veteran girl group in the laughingly short term of only five years after debut but in Korea that's a dynasty for pop groups. Two of their recent songs are especially catchy.
- Abracadabra
- 여자가 있어도 (Although You Have A Girl)
- 허밍 어반 스테레오 (Humming Urban Stereo) - another electronica group, much like Casker they are easy on the ears and always a pleasant choice when relaxing. The singer sounds three times cuter than a human being should sound.
- Hawaiian Couple
- 찰랑소녀
And just like that...she was gone. 새미's twin sister 소미 /Soh Mee/ is now officially a nun-in-training. What this means for the family is that we can't see, email, call or contact her in almost any way for the next six years. Possibly more.
소미 is just like her sister in that they are both incredibly unique individuals with a bright future ahead. One meeting and you realize that both sisters are destined for greatness. I had the pleasure of meeting her for the first time this summer at the airport. She had come back to Korea early from a trip throughout Europe. I was really nervous to meet her because of how 새미 described her as being somewhat distant. However, as soon as I saw her, her face was lit up and smiling; readily accepting me. From then on, it was all about "우리 Team". 소미 began her role as a mediator between my relationship with 새미 and their parents. She performed minor miracles in terms of getting the parents to accept me and understand me (as my Korean is not that great).
We all knew that this was coming sooner or later but her decision to become a nun is still a tough one to swallow. On one hand, I know she's safe, healthy and happy. She chose this life and she'll do wonderfully. Her cheerful smile can light up the darkest room. I know she'll do God's work. On the other hand, I already miss her like crazy. Her role in her family is a lot like my grandmother in my own family - the glue that holds the family together. 소미's level-headedness is the balancing piece to 새미's sometimes over-the-top emotional side. 소미's ability to negotiate and compromise any conflict helped me get closer to her family. Let alone, her friendship apart from my relationship with 새미 is strong as it is. She's just an amazing person.
I honestly don't know how this will work out. Who will cook for me now when I visit the 전 family? Who will translate the parents' 부산 사투리? Who will stick up for me? Who will be there for 새미?
I don't know and it scares me a little. I know that we'll get to see her possibly once a month or so but not frequently. The idea is for her to shed her earthly attachments and possessions and devote her life to God. I respect that just as much as any man. 그래도 누나 보고싶어.
The last thing she said to me was "매튜야, 우리 언니 지켜주세요" which means "Matthew, please take care of (protect) my sister". I intend to remind myself of that promise whenever I miss her.
So now life must go on. She must do what she needs to do and so must we. It saddens me to know that of all the people in the world, as few friends that I have, one of the nicest people and sweetest friends just happened to be 새미's sister. I will miss her deeply. I must also try to not feel selfish and wish that he would just come back. Just like my decision to come to Korea, people must do what they feel is necessary to define themselves. But it still doesn't make it hurt any less. She quickly became one of my absolute favorite people on this planet and for that I'll always thank God for that.
Please be safe 누나 and know that we all miss you terribly.
소미 is just like her sister in that they are both incredibly unique individuals with a bright future ahead. One meeting and you realize that both sisters are destined for greatness. I had the pleasure of meeting her for the first time this summer at the airport. She had come back to Korea early from a trip throughout Europe. I was really nervous to meet her because of how 새미 described her as being somewhat distant. However, as soon as I saw her, her face was lit up and smiling; readily accepting me. From then on, it was all about "우리 Team". 소미 began her role as a mediator between my relationship with 새미 and their parents. She performed minor miracles in terms of getting the parents to accept me and understand me (as my Korean is not that great).
We all knew that this was coming sooner or later but her decision to become a nun is still a tough one to swallow. On one hand, I know she's safe, healthy and happy. She chose this life and she'll do wonderfully. Her cheerful smile can light up the darkest room. I know she'll do God's work. On the other hand, I already miss her like crazy. Her role in her family is a lot like my grandmother in my own family - the glue that holds the family together. 소미's level-headedness is the balancing piece to 새미's sometimes over-the-top emotional side. 소미's ability to negotiate and compromise any conflict helped me get closer to her family. Let alone, her friendship apart from my relationship with 새미 is strong as it is. She's just an amazing person.
I honestly don't know how this will work out. Who will cook for me now when I visit the 전 family? Who will translate the parents' 부산 사투리? Who will stick up for me? Who will be there for 새미?
I don't know and it scares me a little. I know that we'll get to see her possibly once a month or so but not frequently. The idea is for her to shed her earthly attachments and possessions and devote her life to God. I respect that just as much as any man. 그래도 누나 보고싶어.
The last thing she said to me was "매튜야, 우리 언니 지켜주세요" which means "Matthew, please take care of (protect) my sister". I intend to remind myself of that promise whenever I miss her.
So now life must go on. She must do what she needs to do and so must we. It saddens me to know that of all the people in the world, as few friends that I have, one of the nicest people and sweetest friends just happened to be 새미's sister. I will miss her deeply. I must also try to not feel selfish and wish that he would just come back. Just like my decision to come to Korea, people must do what they feel is necessary to define themselves. But it still doesn't make it hurt any less. She quickly became one of my absolute favorite people on this planet and for that I'll always thank God for that.
Please be safe 누나 and know that we all miss you terribly.
One year ago today, a simple facebook status update from a random person online piqued my interest. A few harmless messages later and the rest is history. Thank you for being so mysterious that day.
All of this in just one year. Curious as to what 2010 will bring. 자기야 고마워
All of this in just one year. Curious as to what 2010 will bring. 자기야 고마워
How has it been almost four months and no visit to the 목욕탕 (public bath) until today? I mean of course I've been before but this time around in Korea, tonight was the first since coming to Korea this year. What can I say? 5 000원 (less than five bucks) later I'm twice as relaxed and feeling like a million bucks. There's a very nice 24-hour sauna near my neighborhood that is not too small that it's low quality and not too big that it's jam-packed. Just right. Giggity.
On that note, I leave you with Zach Galifianakis and his awkward comedy short series Between Two Ferns. NSFW.
My favorites? Natalie Portman and Bradley Cooper.
On that note, I leave you with Zach Galifianakis and his awkward comedy short series Between Two Ferns. NSFW.
My favorites? Natalie Portman and Bradley Cooper.
Just a squirrel, right? But finding a big enough nut is another thing. I have a mounting debt that is threatening my life in Korea. I'm officially mad at the world.
I have 5 Stafford loans and 11 Private loans. I won't go into strict detail as the amounts but suffice it to say that I owe close to 60k USD. Ouch. SO, the topic of today's post? Loan Forgiveness - a great starting point. Go there and come back.
Teaching seems to be a great way to pay back a lot of this debt. It also happens to be what I went to school for in the first place. Here's an overview of what a public school teacher's options are. So, if I end up teaching in the states, if it's in a low socio-eco school, 5,000 of my loan can be repaid if I work full-time for five years. Not bad. Here's a search engine of qualifying schools. Here's the standard form. Even more surprising is if I worked at a similar childcare center, the entire amount could be forgiven. including private loans. proof. woah. Keep in mind that almost all programs only forgive federal Stafford loans. Some affiliations such as Americorps only forgive federal loans from certain universities - and Texas has 0 participating universities. Peace Corps only freezes the loan and erases only a portion of Perkins loans - which I have none.
Government jobs are starting to look more promising than just a local teaching job back in Texas. Why? 10k a year for up to 60k. In that case, what about a DOD job? A one year contract is possible in Korea. There are other government jobs search engine. Here's another one for similar government jobs. Lastly. there's always this option: what about a civilian position for the Army? Okay, really lastly is this. United States Army. Three years active duty or six years reserve. Still not sure even if my loans would qualify.
Anyways, it's a lot to think about. Most likely, a big change will occur in August of 2011 but until then, I have a lot thinking and planning to do.
I have 5 Stafford loans and 11 Private loans. I won't go into strict detail as the amounts but suffice it to say that I owe close to 60k USD. Ouch. SO, the topic of today's post? Loan Forgiveness - a great starting point. Go there and come back.
Teaching seems to be a great way to pay back a lot of this debt. It also happens to be what I went to school for in the first place. Here's an overview of what a public school teacher's options are. So, if I end up teaching in the states, if it's in a low socio-eco school, 5,000 of my loan can be repaid if I work full-time for five years. Not bad. Here's a search engine of qualifying schools. Here's the standard form. Even more surprising is if I worked at a similar childcare center, the entire amount could be forgiven. including private loans. proof. woah. Keep in mind that almost all programs only forgive federal Stafford loans. Some affiliations such as Americorps only forgive federal loans from certain universities - and Texas has 0 participating universities. Peace Corps only freezes the loan and erases only a portion of Perkins loans - which I have none.
Government jobs are starting to look more promising than just a local teaching job back in Texas. Why? 10k a year for up to 60k. In that case, what about a DOD job? A one year contract is possible in Korea. There are other government jobs search engine. Here's another one for similar government jobs. Lastly. there's always this option: what about a civilian position for the Army? Okay, really lastly is this. United States Army. Three years active duty or six years reserve. Still not sure even if my loans would qualify.
Anyways, it's a lot to think about. Most likely, a big change will occur in August of 2011 but until then, I have a lot thinking and planning to do.
Syndicate
